


Fated

by Karkstrek



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha!Taeyong, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fate & Destiny, M/M, True Mates, alpha!Johnny, beta!Yuta, omega!Doyoung, omega!Haechan, omega!Jaehyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-02 18:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11515164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karkstrek/pseuds/Karkstrek
Summary: “Is it okay?” Is it okay to touch you? Soothe you? Claim you? Yoonoh smiles. He's ready to do this, he's been waiting for this since a long time ago. He knows the consequences it might have, how everything will turn, the things he'll lose… but the outcome of this is more than Yoonoh's ever wished for.“Yes” he stretches a bit more, showing the curve of his throat. He can feel how his muscles stretch, the delicious pain of it and how he can hear Taeyong swallowing thick saliva.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> To make this easier for everyone: 
> 
> Youngho: Alpha. 
> 
> Taeyong: Alpha. 
> 
> Yoonoh: Omega. 
> 
> Mark: Hasn't presented.
> 
> Donghyuck: Omega.
> 
> Yuta: Beta.
> 
> Taeil: Omega.

He's been dating Johnny for about a year now,  _ almost a year _ , he reminds himself. He's ready to take the next step in their relationship, let him court him and maybe mate with him. It's as simple as that. 

 

It  _ should  _ be as simple as that.

 

The thing is, he doesn't love Johnny, for starters, he does care for him. But he doesn't love him. He's not saying that the guy is bad or anything,  _ hell _ , Johnny has been one of the most respectful and kind alphas he's ever known, and a gentleman with him, but he does not love him. In fact, the mere idea of letting him scent him sends shivers down his spine in a not so nice reaction. He remembers his mother's words, telling him to find a nice alpha, one that can take care of him, an alpha that makes him feel protected, an alpha whose sole scent will calm him. 

 

And Johnny,  _ Youngho _ , is not that Alpha. He's not what Yoonoh needs, not he does feel calm whenever he's near him. 

 

The thought of submitting to him, to carry his pups and being marked by him, is not something Yoonoh craves for nor he desires. It makes him sick thinking about this things, about how Johnny will hold him down, how he'll pin him against a mattress and fuck him relentlessly. The way his nose would probably brush against his neck, sniffing his scent, the way their scents will mingle together and how it will feel when he finally marks him, the way his teeth might cut his skin, how his tongue will lap at the cut, trying to soothe the pain and, at the same time Johnny's knot will be stretching him…

 

“Hey, Jae, you okay?”  _ No _ , he wants to tell him, wants to end this thing Yoonoh doesn't want, this thing Yoonoh doesn't… never has been fond of.

 

“Yeah” he answers instead, hoping that will satisfy Johnny. 

 

The alpha hums, taking that as an answer. Yoonoh, however sulks a bit more,  _ of course _ , Johnny doesn't push him, doesn't make sure if he really is okay. He doesn't realize how Yoonoh clutches the hem of his shirt with one of his hands, or how his knuckles turn white as his fingers are pressed against his other palm. 

 

“So, today I realized that Taeil is an omega and…” 

 

Yoonoh's known this for as long as he met him. Of course Taeil is an omega, he acts as a beta pretty well, but he's an omega. And knows for a fact, that he's pretty, prettier than Yoonoh, at least. Taeil is a catch, he's careful about whatever he says, about how he moves or behaves, he's not submissive either, he can put up with an alpha and win without a sweat. He's got that  _ perfect  _ omega vibe on him. He has everything Yoonoh lacks, and even if they're both serious, Taeil's awkward antics make up for that.

 

He sighs. Johnny watches how he pushes the dish away, it's technically full, but Yoonoh doesn't feel like eating anymore.

 

“Do you want to go?” Johnny asks him, Yoonoh nods. The only thing he wants right now is go home, sleep and forget about those horrible, horrible feelings “Okay” Johnny calls for a waiter, to pack whatever it's left in his plate and on Yoonoh's. Yoonoh shivers as Johnny reaches for his hand, intertwines their fingers and smiles as he feels Yoonoh small tremble. He hates this, hates that Youngho doesn't realize why he's shivering, that he assumes that he's enjoying the contact...

 

They leave, with Johnny paying for their meal and Yoonoh complying about it. He smiles and kisses his cheek, making him tremble a bit more.  _ You're an idiot, Youngho _ , Yoonoh thinks. 

 

Because he is, if he knew Yoonoh better he might understand that he trembles and shivers because of dislike and not because he's enjoying Youngho's touch. 

 

The ride to Yoonoh's home is not that long. He feigns tiredness whenever Youngho tries to make small talk with him, he just nods or hums whenever he is not watching him.

 

“Hey, Jae, we're here” Youngho calls for him, one of his long arms shaking Yoonoh's shoulder gently. He yawns and stretches a bit, before taking his packed meal and unbuckling his seatbelt.

 

“Thanks, Johnny” he says, before opening the door.

 

He doesn't call him Youngho, not because everyone calls him Johnny or anything, he just doesn't think it's proper to call him that, it's  _ intimate _ and he doesn't want him to make assumptions.

 

“Hey, wait” he calls for him, and Yoonoh prays to every deity he knows that he will not try to kiss him, as he's been trying since they started dating. He looks at him, hand in the doorknob ready to enter there if he tries something funny. Johnny smiles “We're meeting Mark's cousin tomorrow for dinner. Do you want me to come for you?” 

 

“Yeah” Yoonoh did forget about that, he's been busy protecting himself from the boy he's dating that he didn't remember that, Mark's cousin, someone from Korea,  _ a real korean _ , his mind supplies, not like him, or Johnny and certainly not like Mark. Maybe like Taeil, but he's not so sure.

 

“Nice, I'll see you tomorrow, then” and he leaves. Just like that, not wanting anything else from Yoonoh. The omega part in him feels dejected at the fact that Johnny does not care for him at all, that he's not going to fight for his attention, or at least try to.

 

He sighs, it's better this way. 

 

The apartment is dark, there's no one aside from him after all. He left Korea long ago, ended his studies in America and started working as a doctor in a nearby hospital. He met Johnny not long after he settled, the alpha used to be an intern in a nearby Company. Doing service as he finished his studies. 

 

Yoonoh remembers how they met, the way Johnny asked for a pen once they were in the library, minding their own business. Remembers how attractive he looked, the way he smiled and the way his eyes crinkled when Yoonoh told him he wouldn't need one if he brought his.  _ Because, how could someone forget something as basic as a pen _ . 

 

They became friends after that, enjoyed each other's presence most of the time, their taste in music was - _ is _ \- similar and they had a lot in common. Even when Yoonoh didn't want to talk at all, Johnny was there, making small talk for the both of them, asking Yoonoh about his day, what he ate, when will his residence start. He cared for him, more than Yoonoh cared for himself.

 

So, when Johnny asked him out one Monday morning, with coffee in his hand and waiting outside Yoonoh's classroom. Yoonoh accepted.

 

He told Johnny his boundaries, he told him how he felt, he wasn't ready for commitment, so Johnny wasn't going to court him. It'll be almost the same as always, instead that now Johnny will touch him more. He'll try to scent him, try to make his scent stand longer in Yoonoh's apartment, he'll even try to scent Yoonoh, to which he would panic and push a crestfallen Johnny away, and out of his apartment.

 

He wasn't ready. Not for him. Not ever. But he couldn't break up with him either, he wouldn't know how to deal with hurting Johnny.

 

He took his clothes off, aiming for a decent bath and then sleep, until it was time to meet with Mark.

 

Something on the back of his head kept telling him that something important was bound to happen.

 

* * *

 

 

“ _ Lee Minhyung, your mother did not raise you like this! How come you have guests and the house is a mess?!” _ It's the first thing they hear before knocking on the door. Yoonoh is surprised, he hasn't hear someone talk in Korean -fluid- in a while. The fact that he still understands every word is more surprising.

 

Johnny, however, flinches. His nose scrunches in something Yoonoh dares say is disgust. As if he hates whatever smell is coming from inside the house. 

 

Yoonoh sniffs a bit. His nose is not as trained as Johnny's so, he doesn't get the aroma at all. He knows it isn't coming from Mark, for he recognizes his smell. It's something new, and even if Yoonoh can't make the status of this person it somehow makes him feel calm. 

 

Johnny however looks constipated. He knocks, Johnny clearly not reacting as he's too focused on the smell. Yoonoh swears he hears him growl.

 

Mark opens the door for them, nodding as a greeting. Johnny shakes his head a bit before pulling Mark into a hug. Yoonoh chuckles. Mark looks offended to say the least, at Johnny's sudden action. He must dislike that Johnny still treats him like a pup.

 

“Hey, Mark” he greets him with a firm handshake. Making the younger smile shyly. 

 

“Hey” he greets them both “Sorry for the mess, Taeyong just arrived and made a bigger mess”

 

_ “Minhyung, are you ditching me with your friends?”  _ again that Korean, the voice is low and somehow  _ sweet _ as if it's trying to warn Mark for something.  _ For ditching him,  _ Yoonoh's mind supplies.

 

“ _ No, I'm just telling them that you just arrived"  _ Mark yells back. The other voice answer with a soft 'oh’. By the looks of this, Mark's cousin is in the kitchen. Throwing pans and moving glasses around.

 

“ _ Are they going to stay for dinner _ ” the voice shouts. 

 

“Uhm, Taeyong wants to know if you're having dinner with us” Johnny is going to say no, Yoonoh can feel him prepare an excuse for them to leave early. But Yoonoh… there's something in the place, something that pushes him to contradict  _ his _ alpha.

 

“Yes!” It sounds so weird coming out of his mouth. It sounds almost desperate as if he's anticipating something. Johnny beside him glares at him, his brows furrowed once he notices the obvious heat on his cheeks.

 

“But, babe…” Johnny tries, voice demanding, as if he's ordering him something.

 

“ _ We're _ having dinner with you, Mark” he smiles, his gaze fixated on Johnny's, daring him to say something else. The alpha huffs, Mark observes them, confusion evident in his face. 

 

“ _ They’re staying hyung _ ” he calls back. Somehow Yoonoh can feel something  _ happy _ linger in the atmosphere. As if they,  _ his _ , acceptance to stay means something. 

 

“ _ Perfect!” _

 

Yoonoh feels nervous, bravery banished from his system once Mark leaves to help his  _ hyung _ with dinner, leaving them alone in the living room, the place where he sits allows him to watch the kitchen. He sees Mark carrying pans, ingredients and something that looks like a salad. He smiles, never has he seen him work this diligently. It makes him proud, he can feel his chest swell.

 

However, and as obvious as it is, Mark's not the only one he can see working. There's an  _ alpha _ , he now recognizes the scent, the musk and dominance it flows out of him, no wonder Johnny looks so out of himself. Nevertheless, Mark's cousin looks calm, as if he doesn't mind another alpha’s presence, he doesn't seem anxious, or attacked for a fact. He's just calm. At least that's what Yoonoh thinks. 

 

He sees him do something near the oven. And now thanks to the angle he sits in. He can see his face. His heart skips a beat before beating faster than it should. It's weird, even if his heart beats this fast, almost hurting him, it does not cause him the same anxiety it does when he sees -or feels- Johnny. There's something in the other alpha’s eyes, the way they crinkle when he smiles, the way his teeth show when he praises Mark. Yoonoh feels…  _ weird _ . Not in a bad way. 

 

And then, their eyes meet. And Yoonoh's heart melts a bit. Mark's cousin smiles wide, all gums and teeth showing, the way his hair,  _ pink,  _ frames his face does something to Yoonoh, something that makes him smile as wide. 

 

Yoonoh feels like going there. Bare his neck and ask for the other to claim him, it's so primal and instinctual that makes him feel ashamed. He blushes as the other alpha winks at him before going back to do dinner.

 

_ What's wrong with you, Yoonoh?  _ He thinks to himself. It's not fair, no, he doesn't know this guy, hell they haven't even been introduced and yet… he feels like he knows all he needs to know about the other and yet, nothing at all. He wants to meet this alpha, talk with him about the future…  _ their future. _

 

“...stay?” Johnny's voice gets him out of his mind. It's low, low and dangerous, so dangerous it makes Yoonoh want to curl in to protect himself. 

 

“Uh?” He mumbled, attention full on Johnny's face. He looks mad, like there's something wrong with everything. Yoonoh doesn't feel like that and he clearly doesn't understand why the other looks treated when there's no threat at all. 

 

“Weren't you listening?” Yoonoh shakes his head, not trusting his voice to answer Johnny correctly. The alpha sighs, and Jaehyun notices how he called him, how his mind supplied for him. Johnny's not his alpha, but just  _ an  _ alpha “Whatever… I asked you if you wanted to leave, I mean, it's late and I have work tomorrow” 

 

Yoonoh doesn't want to go. Not yet at least. His gaze drifts to the kitchen where there's no loud sound anymore, there's mumble, as if Mark and his cousin are talking privately. He wishes they could see him, see the distress in his face and do, or say something to make them stay, at least until he's formally introduced to Mark's cousin.

 

He hears them laugh, it makes him feel at ease, as if that’s anything he needed to know everything will be okay. 

 

Mark approaches them a few seconds later. Yoonoh avoiding Johnny's question with small talk. Yoonoh fixes his gaze on Mark's, in the way his smile brightens his whole face once he looks at Yoonoh and how his eyes become harder, daring, challenging as he looks at Johnny. He's still smiling, though.

 

“Are you leaving, Johnny?” He asks him, always too forward “I heard you asked Jaehyun something like that?” He mentions, as if he doesn't want Johnny to leave.

 

“ _ We _ might be leaving earlier, Mark” and Johnny doesn't seem to take a no for an answer, his posture changes. Shoulders pushed forward and chest puffing out. It's a warning, Yoonoh tries to get up, feeling lost and somehow sad for not being there longer. However, he sits down once he feels Mark's hand on his shoulder, pushing him gently back to his position on the couch. Commanding him, he follows his order, Johnny groans.

 

“Oh, but Johnny, are you really dragging Jaehyun with you? I haven't seen him in awhile, I mean, I have lots of things to tell him” He states, voice covered in sweet, Mark smiles once he hears Johnny growl.  _ Of course _ , if Johnny doesn't want to look like the bad guy he might as well leave Yoonoh stay, if that's what he wishes for. He feels thankful and makes a mental note to buy Mark the latest videogame. He's a good kid and deserves a treat for helping him out, for  _ protecting _ him, his mind supplies.

 

“Fine” is everything he says before roughly getting up the couch and going for the door. He doesn't say goodbye to Yoonoh, he doesn't ask him how he's going home either, he just leaves. Yoonoh's disappointment vanishes as soon as he feels it once Mark smiles at him. 

 

“Do you want to stay for dinner? Or do you want to go after him?” Mark asks him, willing to let him go after Youngho. Yoonoh shakes his head, sighing, he can't believe this. Relief washes over him, Mark's letting him go if he doesn't want to stay and spend the evening with them, he's offering him a way out and even if it's his  _ duty _ to go after Johnny, he doesn't want to, doesn't feel the need to go after him. He, for once, feels safe. 

 

He shakes his head. Making Mark raise an eyebrow confused.

 

“I'll stay” he claims. 

 

It seems as if it was everything that was needed to wash the tension away. He no longer feels rejected, instead he feels  _ free _ , nothing holding him back.

 

“Good, uhm, I'll tell Taeyong. You can stay here or come with me, I don't know…” he mumbles, Yoonoh chuckles, with brave and challenging Mark gone the latter returns to his normal awkward self. 

 

“Do you need help with something?” He asks, because, deep inside him, the omega part in him, needs to do something, to help them make dinner or put the table, he just does not want to feel useless.

 

“ _ Hyung! Do you need help with anything?”  _ Having Mark talking in Korean is something weird, and at the same time it's exotic. Yoonoh enjoys the exchange of words between the cousins.

 

“ _ Nah, I'm good _ ” 

 

“Uhm… you could come with me to get some drinks? I mean, everything is almost ready and even if Johnny left we still have Hyuck and Yuta coming over. Just, wait a moment, please? I'll tell Taeyong  _ hyung _ you're staying” Yoonoh nods, the knowledge that they won't be alone at all makes him feel disappointed. 

 

“Okay" Mark nods before disappearing in the kitchen. He hears some mumble and then laugh.

 

“Let's get the drinks, Jae” he says once he comes back.

 

* * *

 

 

Once they arrive and Mark opens the door for them to enter with the hand that it is not carrying any bag, they are greeted with laughter coming from the living room. Where Yoonoh can see pink hair poking from one of the couches, his gaze drifts to the purplish head on his left. The scent coming from the guy talking with Mark’s cousin tells him is another omega, he feels uneasy, as if the other represents a threat to him and somehow, Mark’s cousin too. 

 

“ _ Oh, you’re back”  _ Mark’s cousin greets them with a smile. Yoonoh’s heart flutters, whatever he was feeling when they arrived is now gone “ _ He arrived a few moments ago”  _ he signals for the  _ omega _ guy in the couch. 

 

“Hyuck, you’re early” Yoonoh witnesses how Mark slaps himself before saying the same in korean. 

 

“ _ Of course I’m early, idiot. I can’t trust you with anything”  _ the purple haired boy approaches them, hands on his hips while he stares at Mark. Looking him from head to toe before smirking, Yoonoh can sense that something's off with this guy, as if he knows something that he doesn't “ _ Oh,  _ Mark _ , weren’t you going to bring snacks too?”  _ Mark freezes on the spot while the omega, ‘Hyuck’ crackles in front of them. 

 

“Oh my god!” he yells. And Yoonoh sees how Donghyuck laughs his ass off. 

 

He’s impressed with how much he can understand korean. It’s his mother language and all, but he didn’t think he could still understand it. 

 

He sees how Mark shoves the bags he was carrying to Hyuck’s arms before sprinting out of the house to get said snacks. Yoonoh feels tense, he doesn’t really know the people there, and even if he’s going to be introduced to them he feels  _ weird  _ and somehow harassed under Hyuck’s watch on him, as if he’s trying to discover his secrets, his desires, his ideals and, as Hyuck’s gaze softens he might discovered something. 

 

“I’m Donghyuck” he introduces himself with a smile and a friendly handshake that Yoonoh reciprocates with a simple ‘Jae’, his english is not the best, Yoonoh can tell by the looks of his face, brows furrowing and mouth pouting, as if he’s looking for words to continue talking with him. Yoonoh thinks it’s cute how he tries to communicate with him, and smiles, hoping it’ll reassure the younger “And… I should not be doing this, but I’m going to introduce you to him” and he points to Mark’s cousin, still on the couch. 

 

He feels the back of his neck heating up as he realizes that said cousin has been watching him, he doesn’t know for how long, but still. His smile is small, trying to not look too awkward and ruin Hyuck’s…  _ Donghyuck’s  _ introduction. 

 

Donghyuck makes a sign for him to follow him, Yoonoh chuckles a bit, it’s not necessary to tell him to follow him, where else could he go to greet this alpha. 

 

_ “Hey”  _ said alpha greets them, smiling wide for Yoonoh to look at the pearly white teeth. The boy is so pretty, so,  _ so  _ handsome and  _ perfect _ . Jaw sharp as a diamond, big black eyes and his features, although sharp and marked, make Yoonoh want to worship each line and curve of this pretty man. 

 

This man could look scary if mad, he just knows, and still, the thought of him being mad,  _ angry, _ makes him shiver. His mind drifts to how he would look, his teeth bared as he growls low, how his eyes would turn red,  _ feral and dominating…  _

 

_ Stop it, Yoonoh,  _ however, it’s late. He’s already pictured how he would bare his neck willingly for this man to mark him, to  _ claim him _ , this thoughts make Yoonoh realize something, something he thought lost when he started dating Johnny, something he thought would never feel. He wants to present to this alpha. Let him court him, spend his heat with him and all that involves. He doesn’t think about getting to know him before the courting starts, instead, he wants to know him while they’re at it, he wants to spend his whole life knowing whatever fact he can get out of him, from the smallest antic he has to whatever secret he’s hiding. Yoonoh wants to be selfish, wants to get all this information only for him to know, a  _ secret _ just between the two of them. But there's Youngho...

 

“ _ Hyung, this is Mark’s friend, Ja-”  _

 

“I’m Yoonoh” he states. English coming off as natural as always, he doesn’t stutter, not even a bit. His hand stretches a bit, waiting for the alpha to continue with their introduction.

 

“Taeyong, it’s a pleasure to meet you,  _ Yoonoh _ ”  the omega blushes, flustered at how much he enjoys being called by his name,  _ his real name _ , by this man. The contact between their hands makes Yoonoh swoon. They fit perfectly, Yoonoh’s pretty and smooth hands intertwines with Taeyong’s rough and veiny hands. Their skins’ color clashes against each one, the pretty tanned almost bronze shade of Taeyong’s hands against his pale, milky white skin. It’s perfect, everything about what they could do it’s  _ perfect.  _ Yoonoh can hear Donghyuck’s snicker behind them, he ignores it, prefers to look into those big obsidian eyes in front of him. 

 

They stare at each other, losing themselves in whatever it is they’re having right now. In whatever all this might mean. Yoonoh doesn’t care right now about anything else, he doesn’t care about Youngho, he doesn’t care about Mark and he really doesn’t care about Donghyuck’s snickering, all he cares about in that precise moment is the alpha in front of him the way he wants to expose his neck, whimper and present himself for him to claim him. He wants to know more about this man, he wants to leave everything behind and run away with him. He doesn’t care where, he just knows that he will be alright with this man. 

 

_ “Hyung”  _ Donghyuck suddenly calls for the other man, voice suddenly serious, Yoonoh wants to whimper at the loss of his attention  _ “Do I need to remind you that he’s dating someone?”  _ and there’s something in the way Donghyuck says that, that makes Yoonoh shiver. The alpha suddenly directs his gaze at him, something unreadable in it. Something that makes Yoonoh shiver, something that makes him want to tell this man that he’s sorry for whatever he’s done, that it would not happen again, that he’ll be a  _ good boy _ … 

 

The alpha smiles, and even if it seems friendly, Yoonoh feels sad. There’s a change to it and he doesn’t know what it is. It seems more polite and less friendly.

 

“So, Yoonoh. Are you really staying with us for dinner?” he asks, voice calm and low.

 

“Yes” he answers, still in front of him. His hand still joining the other’s in a not-that-nice way, it’s not the same gentle touch when they got introduced, it’s weird and even if it doesn’t look different it's something Yoonoh can't place.

 

“Only you?” he asks, his gaze fixed on Yoonoh’s eyes, looking for something.

 

“Yes” he answers, he doesn’t stutter. Doesn't want to make this alpha angry.

 

“Didn’t you arrive with someone?” and there’s something on the way he asks, there’s this little change in his voice, almost like a growl, as if the mere thought of Yoonoh with someone else makes him angry, Yoonoh feels…  _ flattered _ , this is something Youngho never made him feel. 

 

“Uhm… yeah, Yo-Johnny” 

 

“Where’s he?” 

 

“He left” the atmosphere suddenly changes, it’s heavy and makes him want to curl on himself. Donghyuck says something  _ in korean _ before leaving them alone.

 

“Is he your alpha?” 

 

“...yes” Yoonoh wants to cry as the alpha sighs, and it feels like disappointment and betrayal towards him. An Yoonoh feels angry too, there shouldn’t be a person that makes him like this, this vulnerable. He’s never cared about approval, not even when he told his father he was going to America to finish his studies and work there… _ here _ . He didn’t care back then, and he certainly doesn’t care anymore about that. But this, this is new. How can someone have this much power in him, how can someone makes him want to show submission. 

 

“Well, I hope you enjoy the dinner” all contact between them is suddenly gone, Yoonoh mourns it. The alpha gets up, and leaves him there. Donghyuck arrives a moment later, a glass of water on one of his hands, he offers it to Yoonoh. 

 

“Isn’t he weird? He's the weirdest _ hyung _ I've ever had” he states, Yoonoh can’t help but feel uneasy. 

 

* * *

 

 

“ _ It took you hours!”  _ Yoonoh somehow feels better. They’re eating. He avoids making eye contact with the alpha, trying to keep chatting with Yuta while Donghyuck and Mark discuss over nothing… again. 

 

_ “It’s not my fault. Taeyong-hyung didn’t remind me of it!”  _

 

_ “So, the fault is mine?”  _ Yoonoh can’t help himself, he looks at them. He feels envious of Mark, of how easy he can make the alpha smile. 

 

_ “Of course not, hyung! It’s all Hyuck’s”  _

 

_ “Hey, have you forget it was me who reminded you of it?” _

 

_ “But still”  _

 

“They’re idiots” Yuta laughs beside him. He smiles, silently agreeing with him “I didn’t know Mark had a cousin, not until he told me and I actually met him. He’s nice, doesn’t really like to speak English, but he tries to do his best. It’s cute” he keeps smiling, he knows that already and it makes him sad that he might never enjoy that anymore. 

 

“Yeah, he is” he answers, trying his best to keep the talk.

 

“Oh, yeah. Jae, where’s Johnny? I don’t think I saw him when I arrived” Taeyong’s laughter dies with Mark and Donghyuck’s banter. As if they all are expecting his answer. Yuta smiles at him, waiting for the answer as well. He can feel the alpha’s gaze on him. 

 

“Nah, he left early” he tries his best not to stutter.

 

“Too bad, I wanted to ask him something” Yuta whimpers. Not minding -or realizing- the way the youngers and the alpha’s posture changes “But why did he leave? I mean, Johnny never leaves you alone” at that, Yoonoh wants to laugh bitterly. It’s true that Johnny never leaves him, he’s a gentleman after all. But he didn’t want to leave. It’s his doing that Johnny is not with them right now.

 

“He had something to do” he smiles, shyly. 

 

_ “He does not deserve him”  _ Yoonoh hear someone speaking in korean, he doesn’t recognize the voice, it’s almost unhearable, just a low whisper.  However, he wants to say that  _ yes,  _ he doesn’t deserve someone like Johnny. His mood deflates, he pushes the dish away from him, not feeling like eating anymore. 

 

“Is he coming for you? I mean I could talk to him for a bit before you two leave”

 

“Hey, Yuta” Mark calls for him, somehow Yoonoh feels saved, he mouths a light ‘thank you’ to which Mark smiles “Don’t you remember that they don’t live together?” 

 

“What?! You're kidding!” Yuta's perplexed by Mark's words, he sighs before stating “Damn, I thought they were already bonded” 

 

Yoonoh shakes his head while Mark giggles a little.

 

“No, we're not that close” he doesn't add the  _ yet _ , he knows he's not going to spend the rest of his life with Youngho, there’s no need for him to tell otherwise. 

 

“ _ Fuck…”  _ Yoonoh -and the rest- doesn't understand whatever Yuta says, he doesn't speak japanese and the only thing he can understand is a name:  _ 'Taeil’.  _ “Well whatever, I’ll call him. So, there’s this new movie and I thought we could go and watch it. I mean, I’m not sure they’ll let Hyuck enter, but we can try?”

 

“Hey! I’m not that young”

 

He’s not listening anymore, can’t concentrate, he’s dizzy and knows that it’s not because of the drinks but for what’s happening right now. As Hyuck discusses with Yuta and Mark, he can see how the pink-haired alpha stares at him smiling, Yoonoh doesn’t know what to make out of that smile, he avoids his gaze. Nervous he joins the talk again, laughs and disses Mark with Hyuck from time to time it’s funny how the youngers enjoy each other presence, Yuta talks with Tayong, he catches phrases like  _ How long are you staying?  _ what they’re gonna eat, etc.

 

The night finishes when Yoonoh receives a message from Youngho, telling him it’s past midnight and he’s coming for him. They’re in the living room, chatting and planning what they’re gonna do while Taeyong stays there, they are happy, he should be as happy as them, going to the movies, having dinner with them, talking about their days, watching Hyuck and Mark grow, Yuta, flirting with whatever stranger comes across from him, it should be that simple, he knows he can do that, knows that it’s his  _ duty  _ to be there, with them. But he can’t, Youngho might be mad right now, and he’s sure he won’t let him be near any of them, not without him, at least. 

 

“... new clerk in that shop” Mark shakes him just as Yuta finishes talking about his failed flirting and how chinese omegas are pretty though and hard to lure with a simple smile. 

 

“Hey, Jae, you’re coming with us tomorrow, right?” he asks. Yoonoh smiles lightly, not having the heart to reject the offering he nods, knowing that this might cost him more than what he’s ready to give. Mark’s face brightens, he’s not sure if he notices or if he’s ignoring him, but Yoonoh deflates. “Nice! We’ll wait for you here. Is 9am okay?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Nice!” he receives another message from Youngho, telling him he’s waiting for him outside. 

 

“Uhm, sorry, I’m leaving” he says.

 

“Why?”

 

“It’s late” he gives them a small smile, they reciprocate. Telling him that it’s okay, Hyuck and Mark should be asleep already, after all. 

 

Mark escorts him to the door, gives him a high-five and a smile, he thanks him, for joining him for dinner and all that. He leaves, not turning back and still, he knows the alpha’s eyes never leave him. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Took you long enough” 

 

Youngho’s already there, lying on the copilot’s door waiting for him. Hands inside the pockets of his jeans. He's frowning and Yoonoh knows this is something he deserves. 

 

“Sorry” he apologizes. Youngho shakes his head, he doesn’t stop scowling and yet, there’s something else in his face, as if he’s thinking about something. He ignores it, reaching for the door’s handle and entering the car, he seats, waiting for Youngho. 

 

The latter enters a moment later, he doesn’t say anything, puts the seat belt and starts the engine.  However, Youngho turns off the engine, reaches for his hand and stares at him. He shivers. 

 

“Is something wrong?” he asks, trying to get his hand back. 

 

“Jae-... Yoonoh” he corrects, his fingers caressing Yoonoh’s knuckles lightly “I… I neet to tell you this before I get mad” 

 

“Okay” he resists the urge to retrieve his hand, whatever Youngho needs to tell him, must be something really important, he can tell by the way the other clasps his hand, he can ever feel him tremble. Yoonoh lets him intertwine their fingers.  _ Just once _ , he tells himself.

 

“Look, I like you… I might even be a little in love with you and I know, I know and I keep repeating this to myself, that you are the one deciding when we finally do this, but I can’t stand it anymore. Not when the thought of you being in some house with another alpha bothers me. I mean, I know you don’t want anything with them”  _ If only you knew  _ “that you’re my boyfriend and all that involves. But, I… I need to do this before I get insane” Yoonoh trembles, can feel his throat compressing around nothing “So, please, Yoonoh, please. Will you let me court you?” 

 

Yoonoh freezes, it is true that having a relationship at some point involves this, the next step, the final point. Yoonoh knows this, he’s known this for as long as he’s been an omega, he knows this is it. This is the culmination of everything he’s ever known, the final chapter of his life, the only thing that matters at the end. The gold at the end of the rainbow. But he doesn’t want it, not with Youngho, at least. And still, he knows this is the best. He can’t hurt Youngho, he can’t do this to him, not when Youngho is the sweetest being alive, not when he’s a gentleman and pays attention to his every need, not when he came this late for him, to get him home safely. 

 

And Yoonoh, Yoonoh thinks that maybe this is it. Maybe he’s wrong, maybe, just maybe Youngho is the one for him. Maybe he’s his true mate. He hugs him, buries his head on the crook between his neck and shoulder and cries the sourest tears he’s ever cried. 

 

“Yes” he hiccups, sealing his fate.

 

“I’ll go slow, Yoonoh” Youngho assures him, hands on his waist hugging him tightly. 

 

However, there’s this little voice on the back of his head telling him that this is wrong, this is not what he needs to do. And Yoonoh knows, knows that this is a mistake, but it’s too late to do anything else. 

 

Youngho kisses him, soft lips caressing his, inviting him to the future,  _ their  _ future. He just accepts it. 

 

“I love you” Youngho mumbles before parting completely. 

  
  



	2. II

_ “Hyung? _ ” He can hear Mark, he can tell he's worried about him, about this whole situation he's in now and it pains Taeyong that he can't help it, that he can't do anything to make this easier to stop Mark's worries. 

 

It's not everyday one meets their mate, after all. 

 

He's sure,  _ so, so sure _ , that that omega is meant to be his. Not in the way one posses an object, no, something deeper than that. He can't explain it for sure, doesn't know how to, he just knows, he felt it, the so called connection and the bond that desired to be made. He felt it all… and he knows the other felt it too. What he doesn't understand is why the other didn't acknowledge it, why he didn’t give him a sign or anything that could possibly make Taeyong's chest swell in joy.

 

He's still amazed at how he controlled himself, how he calmed himself not to jump the omega and do something stupid once their hands touched, the jolt that traveled through his hand to his spine made him want to hug the other, kiss him senseless and scent him to keep others away from him. There’s a voice in his head telling him to steal the omega, run away to somewhere they would not be found and start a new life full of things Taeyong didn’t know he could fathom until now.

 

He scoffs at the memories, he forced to omega to tell him he was taken and he really is impressed at how well he behaved to not rip the other's alpha head off. It was heartbreaking seeing the omega act that sad. How  _ Yoonoh _ refused to look him in the eye, avoided any contact with him and then, _ Yuta _ , had to mention his alpha rival (not really a rival though, Taeyong’s got the upper hand in this) and, to make it more tense he had to answer and mention some things. And he's sure,  _ FUCK _ , he's sure Yoonoh heard Donghyuck’s 'He doesn't deserve him’ because he saw how the other got more depressed, and he's sure, so sure that the other alpha had something to do with it. He doesn’t know how much Yoonoh is attached to him.

 

He shakes his head, angry at himself for distracting with such unrequited thoughts, it's not the time to think about that, not when Minhyung is asking him something about the sheets of his bed, if he brought pajamas and that if he ever needs something he and Donghyuck are just across the hall. 

 

Taeyong smiles at him, he's proud that his baby cousin grew to be so responsible and attentive towards people. He understands now why his aunt let him study overseas and even gave him an apartment, just for himself. 

 

_ “I'm okay, Minhyung, like,  _ **_really_ ** _ okay”  _ he tries his best to smile, ease the other a little bit so he can have a peaceful sleep. He doesn't doubt Minhyung is already plotting something against that  _ Johnny.  _

 

_ “Okay, hyung, whatever you need-”  _

 

_ “Yes, I know. Everything's okay, don't worry too much. Now, go to sleep, we have lots of things to do tomorrow”  _ and just as Minhyung is whispering something like  _ 'goodnight hyung’  _ he quickly adds  _ “starting with cleaning the mess you call bedroom”  _

 

He can't help his laughter when he hears the younger groan, clearly annoyed. 

 

He was surprised, to say the least, he didn't expect his precious cousin to be friends with such beautiful omega. And for said omega to have such an effect on him. Sweaty palms and fast heartbeat just from hearing his voice, the lightest tint of lavender and sweet hitting his nose and he wants to be consumed by it, wondering why is that lightly. It leaves him uneasy and full of doubts,  _ Why is he covering his scent? _ is the question he can’t bear, it leaves him worried…

 

He shakes his head,  _ First things first, Lee Taeyong.  _

 

He feels ashamed now, to feel so vulnerable with someone he just met. He obviously told Minhyung about it, told him how he felt and tried to get information from him. He felt disappointed and sad when Minhyung told him he had a boyfriend, and he was quite pleased when Minhyung stood up for his omega friend. 

 

It was just too much for him. But somehow, he felt  _ happy _ , he still had an opportunity with the omega. He could tell by the way he spoke about his boyfriend that he wasn't in love with him. Taeyong decided in that moment that he would take whatever opportunity it'll present to court him, he didn't care. He just knew he needed to do something about all that, if his instincts were right, the omega wasn't happy and Taeyong, by all means would teach him what true happiness felt like, what actual  _ love felt like.  _ Even if all this was driven by instinct, he just knew it was the right thing to do. 

 

And still, he owes him an apology. 

 

“ _ I'm fine- _ ” he stops mid sentence, motions for Minhyung to approach him and continues “ _ Actually, I need you to do something for me”  _

 

_ “What is it, hyung?”  _

 

_ “Could I have dinner  _ **_alone_ ** _?”  _ Minhyung stares long at him, trying to understand what his hyung means. Taeyong coffs before the younger can say anything _ “with Yoonoh?”  _ Minhyung didn't even blink, realization washing over him he finds one of his hands reaching for his hyung’s shoulder, patting it slightly. 

 

_ “I'll see what I can do _ ” he said blankly, expression turning worried he continued  _ “Whatever you do, hyung, don't get hurt, please”  _ Taeyong smiled apologetically, someone was going to get hurt, he just hoped it wouldn't be Yoonoh. 

 

_ “I promise”  _ he assured him.

 

Minhyung doesn’t need to know the rest. 

 

* * *

 

_ Open up, please. _ He keeps chanting in his head. Hoping and praying that Doyoung’s home, he needs him, needs another omega to hear him out, to guide him in the things he's done and how much this might affect his life. 

 

It's not that early, it's already past 10 and it's Sunday, so Doyoung is probably doing the laundry or something like that. 

 

He  _ should  _ open the door soon.

 

He waits and re-reads the message he sent to Mark last night and how the other answered, he told him he couldn't make it, had something to do and hoped they would do something another time, Mark assured him everything was fine, that they were actually going to have dinner next Wednesday and Yoonoh could join them there.

 

“Oh, Jae. Fancy seeing you here” Doyoung opens the door ten minutes later for him. He fumbles with his phone, startled at Doyoung’s sudden voice inviting him to enter with one of his hands. If he notices how nervous Yoonoh is, he doesn't say anything. Yoonoh steps inside the apartment and waits for Doyoung to close the door. Once he hears the 'click’ he turns to him, and hugs him, squeezes him as tightly as he can “Did something happen?” He asks, Yoonoh is never this affectionate with him, this is just a signal that something is obviously wrong “I swear that if that idiotic boyfriend of yours did something I’ll personally rip his ba-”

 

“I did” barely a whisper, and still Doyoung can sense how distressed his friend is, how his scent is sour instead of his flowery normal one. 

 

“Uhm, I'm making coffee” he says, it's too early to deal with dramatic shit, and he's not doing nor hearing anything without caffeine on his system. 

 

He guides Yoonoh towards the living room, seats him there and goes to the kitchen to make some coffee. Moments later he brings cookies and two cups of coffee, Yoonoh sips without hesitation. 

 

“Hey” Yoonoh starts.

 

“Go to the point, boy, I know something's wrong” Yoonoh averts his eyes, doesn't dare to look Doyoung in the eye. 

 

The older omega waits for him, sips on his coffee and eats some cookies. 

 

“I've made a mistake” he mumbles. 

 

“And that is…?” 

 

“I accepted Youngho's courting” 

 

Doyoung stares at him long enough trying to comprehend what’s happening,  _ what happened _ , he can tell, if the black under Yoonoh's eyes is something to go by, that the younger is terribly troubled. Doyoung understands the weight of this, the things it implicates and how it affects Yoonoh more than it'll ever affect Youngho. Because he knows how beeing in love is, and Yoonoh is not in love with Youngho. 

 

“Why…?”  _ Why would you do something as stupid as that _ , he refrains to say. 

 

“He got… jealous over another alpha” and there's something in the way he mentions this other alpha that leaves Doyoung questioning everything,  _ Is Yoonoh happy, because Youngho is finally acting as an alpha? Is he happy because of this other alpha? _ . 

 

He knows this look, it's the same look Ten had when he met his mate, that tall Chinese alpha, Yukhei. 

 

Knowing that it's something similar makes him feel uneasy, he can feel the heartbreak and he understands why Jaehyun is rejecting everything and staying with Youngho… Even if the only thing that can bring him happiness is another alpha.  

 

“And this alpha… do I know them?” He asks, hoping is enough to get Yoonoh back to the topic and avoid confrontation as much as he can.

 

“...no” he answers, sighing lightly “He's Mark's cousin, you know” 

 

“Mark has a cousin?!” He's surprised, the kid never talks about his family just vague things about his mother and his friend Hyuck… who, if Doyoung remembers correctly, is still in Korea.

 

Doyoung can hear Yoonoh’s thinking  _ he’s going to return sooner or later.  _

 

“Yeah” he says. Doyoung waits patiently for him, he's now more interested in whatever Yoonoh has to say about this alpha “he… fuck, Doyoung, he's  _ perfect _ ” he doesn't say anything though, just waits, and waits for him “I mean” he stutters, and Doyoung has to bite his tongue to not say something stupid “he's just… you know,  _ perfect _ , in the way that I don't feel like this when I'm with Young- Johnny. As if he's the only safe choice I have” and then he shuts up, realization coming to his face, making him look depressed… more than he was.

 

Doyoung goes to him, one of his hands reach for Yoonoh's head, patting it lightly as he whispers that everything will be fine. Yoonoh startles him, suddenly hugging him and making him stumble, Doyoung manages not to fall with him.

 

“It’s okay” he shushes him, pats his back gently and lets him embrace him harder.

 

“I can’t do this”  _ to Youngho,  _ Doyoung knows.

 

“I know, and it’ll be harder” 

 

Yoonoh cries.

 

~~

 

Fifteen minutes, a pack of kleenex and a glass of water later, they're talking again. Yoonoh's eyes are red and he keeps cleaning up his nose. 

 

“What does all of this have to do with Johnny?” Doyoung asks him, not quite understanding why he accepted his courting when his mate was right in front of him (or at Mark's house).

 

“I can't do this to him, Doyoung" he sighs exasperated. Doyoung knows  _ why _ , what he doesn’t understands is  _ why not leaving it all and start anew with the other.  _

 

“Yeah, sure. But you’re going to make things harder for the three of you” and before Yoonoh can interrupt him again and say something ridiculous again, he adds “I mean, what are you going to do? Tell Johnny that ‘he can join you on your next heat’? Mate with him?! Fuck it, Jae, I know you’re stupid, but not  _ that  _ stupid” he sees Yoonoh averting his eyes, looking at something on the floor. Doyoung slumps back on the couch,  _ this is bullshit  _ “You’ve already made your mind” he sighs, defeated. The younger nods, eyes watering again. Doyoung sighs again “ _ Fine _ , but let me tell you something.  _ He’s  _ your mate, not Youngho. And there’s nothing you can’t do against that. You’re going to do lots of stupid things, but it’s okay, I know I’m right and you’re going to remember my words once you  _ mate”  _ he doesn’t specifics with whom he is going to mate. Yoonoh knows what he means “You can avoid this mess,  _ Yoonoh _ , but you’re stubborn and a selfless bastard…” He gets up, pulls the younger towards him and hugs him “I know you’re not going to break things up with Youngho, and I really hope that once he does what you’re too afraid to do you won’t feel useless or bad, like you’re lacking something” 

 

And he means it. What he doesn’t tell Yoonoh, is that he hopes Mark’s cousin,  _ his  _ alpha, makes a move soon and stops all this drama. For the sake of all the parties involved. 

 

* * *

Yoonoh isn’t nervous. 

 

He didn’t lie to Youngho, he just avoided telling him certain things about his whereabouts. Like the fact that Mark’s not there, nor he’s having lunch in his house.

 

Because, Mark was here, and he indeed is having lunch… in some fast food restaurant with not-Mark. 

It’s not like he lied to Youngho.

 

Except it is. 

 

He shakes his head, trying to focus again in whatever his companion is asking him, currently pointing at random things in the menu, asking him about the things he doesn’t understand. 

 

Yoonoh refrains himself from saying it’s cute, restrains his hands from touching the other whenever he’s close or turns to ask him another thing. Instead, he smiles politely and explains with words he knows aren’t as hard for the other to pronounce. 

 

Yoonoh is not nervous. Why would he? 

 

This is his mate, after all. 

 

He isn’t nervous. 

 

He’s worried about the things this implies.

 

He wasn’t expecting Mark to be so keen in leaving them there once they arrived, he wasn’t expecting  _ Hyuck _ to come moments later, take one of Mark’s hands and taking him away from them, saying something that sounded like  _ ‘date’.  _ The look on Taeyong’s face told him that yes, it was something like a date, what he didn’t understand it’s if it was directed towards them or at Mark and Hyuck. 

 

They’re alone. 

 

Eating typical american food, chatting about little things and laughing about some others. Yoonoh teaches him some words and Taeyong, in exchange teaches him some phrases. 

 

“It’s just so funny” and Yoonoh laughs again, because it is funny indeed, and Taeyong’s pronunciation makes everything better. 

 

“Yeah, he usually does things like that”

 

“I know, he used to make this face whenever he did the dishes and touched wasted food” and he laughs again, and Yoonoh likes it. Likes the way he scrunches his nose, how his laughter sounds like some dying animal, how his teeth show fully and his eyes, Yoonoh really  _ likes  _ those eyes, the way they bright, how they seem to shine and the fondness they show when he talks about Mark. It makes Yoonoh want to cry and wonder if Taeyong will ever see him like that.

 

“I can't picture that” he smiles. 

 

“You should, maybe you could ask Mark… even better, you can make him do the dishes” he smirks, then cackles again. 

 

“I suppose” he mumbles.

 

They continue talking, Yoonoh tells him about his arrival at Connecticut, how hard it was for him, and mentions that  _ someone  _ helped him. Taeyong smiles through it all and then tells him how Hyuck got there, with him. His omega father practically forced him to accompany Taeyong and check out on Mark, because he was worried about his adoptive son and Hyuck was being a  _ little shit _ with all his tantrum and mourning about Minhyung being away from him. It's kind of cute, Yoonoh didn't know this Mark and he kind of likes the boy even more.

 

They're eating ice cream -Taeyong wanted something sweet and Yoonoh obliged him- when Taeyong stops, ice cream melting in the cone while he stares at Yoonoh, bland gaze and sharp looks, Yoonoh doesn't fear him. He isn't nervous either… he's curious.

 

“Is something wrong?” He asks, Taeyong shakes his head, gets up and puts the rest of his ice cream on a nearby trash bin. Once he returns, he focuses on Yoonoh, his hands shakes and Yoonoh can see him looking at his, asking for permission. Yoonoh nods shakily. 

 

It makes his insides feel weird, it's just a simple gesture, nothing really important. Just an alpha asking for permission to touch him, to cross some boundaries, Yoonoh knows it's all courtesy, a formality… he doesn't understand why his heart is beating so fast.

 

He's out of breath before their fingers even met, once Taeyong takes them in between his, he shivers and feels dizzy, it's too much and he shouldn't be doing this, but he can't refuse it, there's something pulling him towards the other boy, something that doesn't let him refuese  _ anything  _ from this boy. 

 

“I'm sorry” Yoonoh gasps not quite understanding what the other means. What is he sorry for.  

 

“Uhm” 

 

“I shouldn’t have forced you to say those things, the other night, I didn’t know they made you uncomfortable. Not until Minhyung told me about it” he sighs, eyelashes caressing his chiseled cheeks as he closes his eyes “I want you to tell me if something bothers you about my behavior, if I do something that you don’t like at all, you can tell me. It’s okay, we’re not that  _ close _ after all” then he smiles, unaware of how Yoonoh’s heart breaks and repairs again “If it’s okay with you, obviously. I don’t want to force you”

 

Yoonoh can feel his eyes burning with unshed tears, he hates Taeyong for looking so vulnerable and being so kind towards him, with his soft,  _ big _ black eyes focused on their hands, for the sweetness and regret in his voice. He also hates Youngho, for being the reason this is happening. 

 

But most importantly, he hates himself. 

 

Every second their hands stay like that makes him want to cry, laugh and punch something while he screams his lungs out. This is what Doyoung was talking about,  _ he knows  _ what the other meant. 

 

Taeyong  _ is  _ his mate. His omega part sighs and purrs in delight with the little caresses the alphas hands are giving his. Yoonoh withdraws his hands from him.

 

“I… I need to go to the bathroom”

 

Taeyong gives him a nod, smiling.

 

~~

 

The vibrations his phone makes in the back pocket of his pants serves as a reminder that he’s fucked. It’s time to leave or else things are going to get tougher. 

  
  


_ [From: Youngho, 16:25] _

 

**_Where r u?_ **

 

_ [To: Youngho, 17:45] _

 

**_Mark’s._ **

 

_ [From: Youngho, 17:46] _

 

**_I’m coming for you._ **

  
  


He doesn’t answer. He’s accepted whatever Youngho wants from him, he doesn’t have a say in it, not anymore. 

 

It’s weird… 

 

He remembers how he got himself in this position. The mistakes he made and the things he’s risking, the thinks he might lose and the damages he might cause. And still, he knows he'd still say yes to Youngho's proposal. 

 

~~

 

_ “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He nods, not trusting his voice to answer that.  _

 

_ Youngho smiles fondly at him, his hands caressing his waist before kissing him, they're outside Yoonoh's door. He feels him smile through the kiss, can sense how pleased he is and how much he enjoys the contact.  _

 

_ Yoonoh however, tries his best to stay calm, he even tried to enjoy the kiss. It's Youngho, you should be pleased.  _

 

_ But he's not, he's ashamed and embarrassed to be in this situation. He knows he's betraying him, knows he's betraying himself and still, he can't do anything to stop this. To end this and let Youngho be happy with someone else, to be happy himself. He can't, he can't do this to him. To them... _

 

_ Youngho loves him, that much he's told him. The burden to hurt him is too much, too overwhelming to do anything against the current events, even when deep inside him he knows it's the best, hurting him a little and that'll be all, but he can't.  _

 

_ Youngho's only doing what he deems necessary, what his nature demands and Yoonoh, as the omega he is, should be more than willing to accept it. Except, he's not.  _

 

_ Youngho is not his alpha, he doesn't feel atracted to him in any romantic nor sexually way. He's his friend, his best friend, and that's all and that the main reason he can't afford to hurt him. It's not about him after all, it's about Youngho and his well being. _

 

_ So, he kisses back, lightly. Just pushing his lips against Youngho's in something that feels bad for him, something that makes Youngho smile and hum in approval.  _

 

_ He closes his eyes, doesn't want to see Youngho's expression as they kiss, doesn't want him to see his eyes reddening and how he's at the verge of crying. _

 

_ Youngho's hands travel along his sides, touching him lightly. Yoonoh tries his best not to push him away, hands curling between their chests.  _

 

_ Youngho pecks him once before finishing the contact. A finger touches his upper lip, the contact is enough to make him open his eyes. Youngho is smiling widely while his finger caresses his lips. He shivers. _

 

_ “I've wanted to do that since I met you” Youngho whispers on his ear.  _

 

_ Yoonoh doesn't say anything else, smiling shyly he motions towards the door, hoping is everything Youngho needs to leave. A clear sign that he's going to enter.  _

 

_ “So, uhm, good night” he waves, fishing for his keys and opening the door as fast as his shaking hands allow him to. _

 

_ He hears him snicker, telling him how cute he is before leaving.  _

 

_ Yoonoh finally opens the door hands still shaking, he manages to close and lock the door behind him. _

 

_ He runs towards the bathroom, doesn't bother to close the door and just falls to his knees, pulls at his hair hard not knowing what else to do and cries, cries the saddest tears he's ever cried.  _

 

_ It doesn't feel right, it's so cliche and all that bullshit. But he knows, knows that this isn't right, not for Johnny, Taeyong and even himself.  _

 

_ He doesn't know what he's feeling right now, dissapointment? Sadness? Happiness? He doesn't know, can't pinpoint the exact emotion, maybe it's a little of all of those. Either way, it's just too much. More so with the scent-blockers messing up his system. He can't smell anything as perfectly as he should, nor people can smell him as they should. He started taking them as soon as he started dating Johnny, he wasn't going to risk himself that much, wasn't going to tolerate Johnny hitting on him every five minutes trying to scent him. The blockers made his smell faint, it was there, but not as strong as it should.  _

 

_ He was going to stop the medication, stop taking them once he broke out with Youngho.  _

 

_ But with the situation at hand, it's better if he doesn't skip them. At least until Johnny finishes his courting… and mates him.  _

 

_ He feels like throwing up, he doesn't want this, doesn't want Johnny's affections. Doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with him.  _

 

_ And he remembers, remembers how at first he thought it was just vanity, that Johnny wasn't really his type and that was why he didn't accepted him completely, why he didn't want to kiss him, intertwine their hands or even let him lend him clothes… with time, and after lots of thinking he understood it wasn't vanity. It was something more complex than that.  _

 

_ His omega didn't think of him as a capable suitor. But either way, he ignored it. It was the least he could do for him, after he helped him deal with moving from Korea to here, adapting and all that shit, even sharing some of his friends. _

 

_ He can’t do this to him. Youngho doesn’t deserve being treated like this, without love and the care he deserves, but if  _ **_he’s happy,_ ** _ Yoonoh tells himself, if he’s happy with ‘this’ then Yoonoh can make an effort and bear it.  _

 

~~

 

“I need a favor” he says. The other looks worried, as if something bad happened to Yoonoh and that’s why he needs the favor. The alpha doesn’t mention how agitated and anxious he looks, Yoonoh’s thankful for that. 

 

“Sure” 

 

“I-ugh” he inhales, trying to gain composure and tell him how bad he’s fucked up “I need to go to your-Mark’s house” the look Taeyong gives him tells Yoonoh that he knows  _ why _ , it’s not even a minute before Taeyong has Mark and Donghyuck seated in the backseats of Mark’s car, he’s telling them something in korean, something important because the boys look serious and are paying Taeyong his complete attention. 

 

Once they arrive (it’s been ten minutes) since they left, Mark gives them a thumbs up and runs towards the kitchen. Donghyuck “arranges” the living room, throws some pillows and sheets on the floor, and moves some cushions. Taeyong is looking for something in what Yoonoh supposes is his room. He observes them run from one side to the other, hears the shouts from Mark to Donghyuck, and from Taeyong. 

 

Yoonoh stands in the middle of it all.

 

Taeyong cames back with movies on his hands. He turns the T.V on while Donghyuck puts a movie in the old DVD player. Mark comes a moment later with drinks and popcorn. The three of them drop themselves whenever they can. Donghyuck is having the couch all to himself while Taeyong sits on the floor, Mark on his side. 

 

“What are you waiting for?!” Donghyuck shouts to Yoonoh, startling him. They motion for him to drop wherever he can.

 

“I’ve already seen this movie” Mark says once they all seated. 

 

“Shut the fuck up,  _ Minhyung,  _ no one asked you” Donghyuck hits the back of his head. On his left, Yoonoh giggles. 

 

It’s pretty domestic, they are watching some Disney movie. Yoonoh knows is Disney, he saw the intro. However, he isn’t focusing on the development of the red haired princess and her mother. He’s paying attention to Taeyong, how soft he looks caressing Mark’s scalp and leaves him wonder  _ if he sat where Mark is, will Taeyong be touching his scalp like that? Will it be more intimate?  _ he also pays attention to how Taeyong smiles at Donghyuck’s snarky comments on the movie. 

 

The princess is going to make a deal with the old lady when the ring from the door startles them. Mark tries to get up just to be stopped by Taeyong’s hand. 

 

“I’ll go” 

 

Yoonoh is impressed. Mark and Donghyuck keep their banter about silly things. He can’t sense distress on them.

 

“Oh, really?” Youngho’s voice makes him freeze, his eyes get bigger as Donghyuck takes his hand with one of his hands, the other makes a sign for him to not say anything and keep watching the movie. He returns to his banter with Mark, his hand doesn’t leave Yoonoh’s.

 

“Yeah, Mark’s pretty handful sometimes and he wasn’t answering his father’s calls. So they send me to check up on him”

“I remember how he used to be so afraid of everything” Youngho  _ laughs  _ sending Yoonoh’s mind into overdrive, is he dreaming? Didn’t Youngho hate Taeyong? 

 

“He used to call me every night and ask if the sounds he heard outside where normal” Taeyong’s laugh is different from Youngho’s, it’s richer, smoother and makes Yoonoh want to bury in the sound. 

 

“God! He’s still a kid” 

 

“You have no idea” 

 

They’re practically hugging each other once they reach the living room. Yoonoh doesn't dare look at them, he opts to focus on the movie instead. 

 

“You didn’t tell me you were watching movies” Youngho reprimands Taeyong, he supposes, because the other snorts and pushes his shoulder lightly.

 

“I’m sorry, we weren’t expecting you so early”  

 

“Damn, if I knew I should've brought pizza and come later” 

 

“You can join us next time, tho. I’m not letting you forget that pizza” 

 

“Oh! Johnny hyung” Mark gets up, and Yoonoh watches how they act as if they didn’t leave Taeyong an him have something akin to a date moments ago “I haven’t introduce you to Hyuck” said boy smiles at Yoonoh before getting up and going to Mark, Yoonoh decides to follow him. It might be suspicious if he stays alone in there.

 

“Hi! I’m Mark’s most important person in the world, I make his life brighter and happier” Youngho laughs as Mark hits Hyuck’s shoulder, making him stumble. 

 

“No you’re not”

 

“Of course I am, idiot” and they start to fight switching from english to korean. 

 

“Yoonoh” Youngho calls for him, he’s tense and everyone is acting normal, but he can feel Donghyuck’s eyes on him, supporting him and telling him not to do something stupid and ruin everything. 

 

“Hey” he smiles lightly. Beside Youngho he can see Taeyong smiling too. 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were having so much fun” 

 

“It’s okay” 

 

Youngho takes one of his hands, the feeling makes him want to retreat and hide behind Taeyong. But he endures it, instead he intertwines their fingers and tries not to flinch when Youngho pulls him towards him, one hand on his waist holding him close to Youngho’s right… and Taeyong. 

 

“I’m sorry I ruined your evening guys. Jae didn’t tell me anything about this” 

 

“Don’t worry” Taeyong says “we started everything last minute, so it’s not really a waste” and he smirks, playful eyes focused on Yoonoh’s confused ones. 

 

“Yeah, it was Hyuck’s idea actually. He got bored after I beat his ass so many times on UNO and Jenga” Mark supplies, and Yoonoh feels his jaw clenching at their lies… They’re protecting him, saying stupid and yet credible things just to save Yoonoh’s ass. 

 

“Of course not, I won every time” 

 

“Yeah, whatever  _ the happiest thing it ever happened to me”  _

 

“You are sleeping in the floor, dear Minhyung” 

 

“You wouldn't dare"

 

“Try me  _ bitch _ ”

 

“Donghyuck" Taeyong's commanding voice make him shiver, Youngho tenses while the boys start to mumble apologies. Youngho sighs.

 

“I thinks it's time for us to leave” 

 

“Yeah, I need to discipline some kids… I'll escort you to the door” 

 

“Bye kids” he yells, Yoonoh smiles at them while they bid them farewells. 

 

“Goodnight”

 

It's not tense, is weird. Even more because Youngho doesn't mind Taeyong, they keep talking with Yoonoh squeezed between them. The hand on his waist doesn't make him feel anything, but there's another hand pushing something on his right hand he clutches it, quickly hiding it on his jeans.

 

Mourning already the loss of bony fingers slipping in between his they arrive at the door, Taeyong stays there, all soft looks and pink hair shining under the fluorescent light. Youngho offers him his free hand and Taeyong shakes it smiling, he then turns to Yoonoh and offers him his hand.

 

Yoonoh takes it under Youngho's happy gaze. 

 

“Goodnight” he tells  _ them _ , because Yoonoh knows everything is directed towards him.

 

“Bye” and they're out of the Lee household.

 

~~~~~

 

“I apologized, you know” Youngho starts once they walk towards his car “my behavior yesterday wasn't the best, and I was being immature. I told him that, he was pretty chill about all. He told me that you were having such a wonderful evening and that I should join some time” he smiles. 

 

“Yeah” Yoonoh feels giddy, happy. He's grateful towards all the Lee's, even if they left him alone with Taeyong and made him worry over Youngho's reaction if he knew that, they still covered him. It wasn't okay, obviously not, it's abusing Youngho's trust and somehow cheating on him. But Yoonoh doesn't care, not when he can sñedn time with all of them, even if it's to cover the things they did, he actually had a great time. Donghyuck's support, Mark's knowing gaze and Taeyong, they all make him feel better about his situation. 

 

“Have you had dinner already?” 

 

“I ate too much popcorn, sorry" 

 

“It's okay, Taeyong told me how you made little Mark buy more. I didn't know you liked them that much, though” Yoonoh knows Johnny wouldn't be that happy if he knew that he… “We’re here”

 

Youngho doesn't kiss him that night, he apologizes instead and tells him to have dinner with him some other day so he can make up for not spending time with him. He smiles, he's grateful for that.

 

Once Yoonoh enters his bedroom, he plops on it, not caring about anything on the world. He dreams of soft eyes, pink hairs and fingers slipping in between his. 

 

* * *

 

He arrives late for work, just to have Irene reminding him that he has nothing to do until next month because, apparently he’s been on vacation since last tuesday. He apologizes anyway, for not remembering that and importune Irene. 

 

Returning is… weird. He has nothing to do, laundry’s done, there’s no dishes to do and his bedroom is clean. The house looks immaculate making him feel proud at himself and a little frustrated, because he has nothing to do anymore. 

 

He flops on the bed, gaze fixed on the ceiling thinking about what to do for the next month. He could rearrange the furniture on the living room, change the paint and buy some plants, for decoration. His place is a bit bored and lifeless. 

 

He’s looking through some catalogue when he remembers about last night. He should really try a movie night with Johnny… and the Lees. They’re just so… easy to be with, he should know that Mark’s friend and cousin would be as easy going as him, what he didn’t expect was for them to be so devoted on make him feel safe, even after he told them he was dating, they seemed unfazed and now that he analyzes everything, he remembers Hyuck somehow mocking him. 

 

Thinking about the Lees makes him remember about last night, fingers slipping in between his and something being pushed on his front pocket…

 

He looks for the jeans on the ‘pile chair’ the chair he uses to pile enough dirty clothes so is not a waste of water to wash one or two changes. They’re on the top of it all, so it doesn’t take him long to find them, he doesn’t care about how desperate he looks handling the jeans and searching through every pocket, not caring if they’re on the front or the back. 

 

He founds a crumpled paper. He unfolds it carefully not to rip it.

 

_ “I want to be friends with you, and make it up for you for making you feel that awkward last time. Send me a text whenever you’re ready.  _

_ xxx-xxxx-xxxx L.T.” _

 

His face is red and his hands are shaking, how is it possible that this man makes him swoon over simply letters and a number. How is it possibly that he feels hot and giddy with a simple ‘ _ when you’re ready’.  _ Taeyong’s letting him decide… for the both of them whether or not they continue their current ‘friendship’ he doesn’t know how to feel about that. No one’s given him that much power before, Youngho usually tells him what to do or simply notifies him about ‘their’ plans. 

 

He’s debating whether or not text the number. It’ll be so easy just to send a simply ‘Hi’ he doesn’t doubt the other is going to take it over there and work something out. But he knows there is more to the ‘Let’s be friends’ than the other lets out. For starters, Yoonoh knows, feels it in every cell of his body that this is something akin to a pre-courting. If he accepts, he’s obviously cheating -indirectly- on Youngho and if he finds out… Losing Youngho is not something he can afford, he can’t go back to korea with Taeyong, his job is here, his friends are here and so is his life, the life he made with Youngho’s support. 

 

But… 

 

Life’s too short to be worrying about What ifs and their possible outcome. Maybe Doyoung’s right and this is something he can avoid, something he’s just delaying. 

 

He texts Youngho first, telling him to come over and have dinner with him. 

He then texts the other number. 

  
  


_ [To: L.T., 13:25] _

 

**_Hey._ **

 

_ [From: L.T., 17:46] _

 

**_I was waiting for you._ **

 

Yoonoh knows he isn’t talking about him texting him. It’s more than that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like the ending, I feel it's kind of rushed and a little forced. But whatevs, I'm working on how to use that for future chapters. 
> 
> Also, I realized -yesterday- that I made a mistake XD. I presented Haechan as an omega in the first chapter, so, yeah, he's an omega, I haven't decided on Mark, yet, so he's still 'a beta'. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it uvu ♥


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He scrubs the skin on his neck harshly, getting rid of every odor the other left of him the night before

Youngho arrives an hour later, hands full of what Yoonoh supposes is what they're going to eat.  

 

It’s weird, somehow. It looks domestic,  _ too  _ domestic with Youngho sitting on a chair nearby watching him, while he prepares everything. It’s been a long time since Youngho last entered this house,  _ his  _ house and it feels weird. Something inside of him just wants to snarl at him, tell him to get out and clean everything that the alpha’s touched, as if the mere idea of Youngho’s hands and smell staying within the walls of his home repulses him. It’s not that drastic, per se, but there’s that little voice in the back of his head telling him that that’s not something he should allow, not when the alpha hasn’t even gave him a court gift, not when said alpha hasn’t deemed himself worthy of Yoonoh’s affections, not when, even if he accepted said courtship, they’re not on that kind of terms, where Yoonoh is not ready to allow something like that, even less that Youngho hasn’t asked for his permission. 

 

_ It’s just your imagination _ .

 

He’s making a fuss just for nothing, when Youngho hasn’t attempted said things, he tries to calm himself as he finishes doing the salad to accompany the lasagna Youngho brought. 

 

He doesn’t like lasagna that much. 

 

Ignoring his thoughts, he opts to do something else to distract himself. He proceeds to fill their plates and glasses with water. 

 

Youngho helps him, always the gentleman, Yoonoh, though restrains himself from telling him “it’s okay, i’ll do it”. The sole thought of Johnny touching anything else from the things he’s allowed to touch makes him rethink this whole situation. He doesn’t really want Youngho to stay more than necessary.

 

They sit in front of each other, Youngho’s legs slightly touching his, he does his best not to shudder at the contact. Youngho just smiles at him, he returns it, although a bit forced, the alpha, sweet, gentle Youngho says nothing, deeming it as tiredness from his part.

 

Dinner passes without much, Johnny talks about work, how  _ Taeil _ , always Taeil did something relatively cute and Yoonoh restraining himself from saying that Taeil might be just clumsy and not cute at all. Omega competitivity, he tells himself to not say something rude. His brain keeps telling him that Johnny should be making  _ cute _ remarks about him, and not other omegas while he’s courting him, that’s rude, and kind of cheeky.

 

But this is  _ Johnny _ , sweet, sweet Johnny who’s being with him since his arrival, and so he tries his best to not say a thing about it. 

 

Johnny doesn’t deserve this. 

 

* * *

 

They’re watching a movie on Yoonoh’s living room, he declined Johnny’s intention of moving to his bedroom with a simple: “my room’s not really clean” and a “please, spare me the embarrassment” with Youngho laughing it off and telling him that he’s okay with staying in the living room, everywhere that they together it's good. The couch isn’t that comfortable, not when Johnny keeps bumping their knees  _ accidentally  _ and Yoonoh striving further to the opposite corner. The movie they -Johnny- selected is one of those typical romantic clichés.

 

The omega meets the alpha, they’re not meant to be together, blah, blah, blah, the omega’s partner let’s them go because they understand that they’re not meant to be, and so, and so. 

 

_ As if it’s as simple as that. _

 

They reaching the climax of the movie when Johnny takes advantage of Yoonoh’s concentration on the movie and envelopes his shoulders in a weird half hug, Yoonoh lets his head fall into the alphas shoulder, searching for comfort as the main character cries as his loved one lets them go, because even if they’re meant to be, they just can’t leave their obligations like that. 

 

His heart aches at Taeyong’s bubbly laugh, at how his features soften whenever he’s talking with Mark, how he pays attention and appreciates every one of Donghyuck’s kirks. How he reprimands them...

 

How his eyes fill with emotion as the omega remembers the few times they've been alone together.

 

He isn’t crying, not yet, he’s learnt to control his emotions as best as he can whenever he’s with Johnny, however, that doesn’t mean that his face doesn’t show anything. His brows furrow, and his hands grip whatever is close to them as hard as he can, in this case his jeans trying to enjoy the movie and not to think about sad things.

 

He feels one of Johnny’s hand travel up and down his back, trying to soothe him towards the emotional exchange between the main characters. 

 

“They’re going to end together, they always do” Youngho tries his best to calm Yoonoh, the latter can feel his jaw clenching, he doesn’t want to hear this, not from Youngho, not from anyone who doesn’t know what he’s being through “it’s pretty obvious, actually, you can’t interfere when destiny’s involved”  _ Then, will you let me go?  _ Yoonoh restrains himself yet again, from saying something as stupid as that. He knows the answer already, even if they’re not fated Johnny already loves him. 

 

He bites his lip, looking right into the alpha’s eyes, trying to communicate the things he can’t, trying to make him understand. He knows he should know better, he knows he’s being stupid and delusional for wishing things that aren’t meant to be. Youngho smile makes him feel a lot of things, but most than any other, he feels hopeless and stupid, so, so stupid. Because Johnny just cares about himself and the things he can get from Yoonoh and he knows this, because right after he bit his lip, Johnny’s gaze wanders towards them, taking it as an invitation to initiate something Yoonoh doesn’t wish for. 

 

He closes his eyes, trying to push every bad feeling towards the back of his mind, trying to actually enjoy whatever Johnny tries to do. 

 

Hard lips against his soft ones, they move gently, trying to feel as much of Yoonoh as they can, it’s slow and in other conditions Yoonoh might qualify it as romantic, but he can’t, because he’s still thinking about the movie’s outcome. But he does his best, at first he tries to reciprocate the contact, moving his lips against Johnny’s as best as he can, one of the alpha’s hands travels towards his hip, gripping him lightly while the other caresses his jaw, trying to angle Yoonoh’s head as gently as he can, the omega doesn’t understand how they changed position, they’re facing each other still sitting on the small couch, which isn’t a nice position to be kissing. 

 

Trying to distract himself from the ugly feeling on the pitch of his stomach, Yoonoh’s mind wanders towards Taeyong, this time however, it is different as he lets himself think about impossible and  _ oh so dangerous _ things such as,  _ how will Taeyong kiss him _ , will he kiss him hard, trying to devour as much of Yoonoh as he can? will he kiss him softly, making sure that they both want this? How his lips will feel, will they be soft? Hard? 

 

_ Will he bite him? _

 

The sole thought of Taeyong marking him while kissing makes his head spin and his body fuzzy that he doesn’t realize the noises his making, low grunting and mewling sounds escape from his mouth every time his mind wanderers towards more heated things. 

 

He’s so distracted he doesn’t feel Johnny’s hands moving under his shirt, caressing his sides. The touch makes him dizzy,  _ how about Taeyong’s hands?  _ his omega supplies, will he grip,  _ mark _ , with his fingers his hips? Will he grip his hair hard, or will he caress his scalp and neck? His hands clutch the jeans harder,  _ fuck _ , he’d die to have Taeyong kiss him like that. 

 

The hard sudden grip on his waist makes him suffocate, will Taeyong do this? What will he do then? 

 

A tongue tries to breach inside his mouth, he lets it in, pleased as he thinks about Taeyong becoming possessive as time passes by while they kiss, trying to mark him as deep as he can, as deep as Yoonoh lets him. Taeyong, mapping his teeth, his gums and everything he can reach, slowly, trying to memorize every part and reaction he can get from Yoonoh until finally letting their tongues meet.  _ God _ , it is lewd and messy, with their saliva mixing and pooling on his mouth as they keep kissing, Yoonoh feeling satisfied and hotter as their saliva escapes from the corners of his mouth. He can picture Taeyong breaking contact just to lick said fluids slowly, until their lips meet again, restarting the exchange again, more messy, more hot.  _ More lovely.  _

 

“Shall we move to the bedroom?” the low voice enchants him, hypnotizes him to say yes, to demand the alpha to take him, even if he’s not allowed to make such request. Just before he’s ready to nod or scream a  _ ‘What are you waiting for, alpha?’ _ his omega stills, fearful of what he’s trying to project. 

 

Realization washes over him as cold as the rain pouring outside. 

 

He pushes the horny alpha as hard as he can, which isn’t much, considering how fast panic spreads on all his body. How can he be so careless? How would he allow Johnny to be so intimate with him? They’re supposed to take things slow, no to do this kind of things when Yoonoh isn’t thinking things clearly. Not when Johnny hasn’t earned said intimacy. 

 

_ Fuck _ .

 

“You should go” his lips tremble but he does his best to not waver. 

 

“Jae-”

 

“You should, really go, Johnny, it’s late” after a moment of hesitation he adds “please” letting his eyes get red with effort of not letting any tears fall. He knows alphas are weak for this, and if Johnny appreciates him enough, he’ll understand that he isn’t in the mood to discuss what just happened. 

 

Johnny nods, grabs his things and kisses the top of his head before heading out his eyes screaming that Yoonoh owes him an explanation. 

 

Once the door finally closes Yoonoh lets himself fall onto the floor, legs weak enough to keep him up anymore. He sighs. He shouldn’t be that careless, his mind shouldn’t be this weak, letting himself picture things that aren’t meant to be is dangerous whenever he’s with Johnny. He should have known better than that. 

 

He doesn’t cry, not this time. Not when his omega-  _ his mind,  _ and his heart are screaming for the things he needs. So he sighs again, his head already a mess to consider what he’s about to do, crawling towards the little table on the middle of the living room, he takes his phone, starting to type a message. He’s about to press ‘send’ when he decides that he isn’t going to get the comfort he needs via text. 

 

He closes the text app, looks through his contacts and presses ‘call’. It’s nearing 1AM, the rain pours harder while Yoonoh prays his call isn’t ignored. 

 

The other line doesn’t even ring once before the person answers.

 

_ “Hello, Yoonoh”  _ the softness on the way the voice call his name makes him whimper, he’s been bad, he shouldn’t be receiving such gentle treatment. 

 

“Uh” he isn’t able to say a thing as his throat constricts, anxiety and sadness fill his whole body.

 

_ “Is everything alright?”  _ the soft voice asks, making him weep a little  _ “forget that, are you okay?”  _ those words are all it takes for him to cry over the phone, not pulling apart even when his eyes get blurry, he grips the device tighter. Crying because of the implications, the person on the other line isn’t worried about whatever he’s done bad, they’re worried about him, about how he feels, something he doesn’t allow himself to even think about because he’s not even worthy of lead his own life towards the things he desires. He doesn’t think of himself as worthy, not when other lives depend on whatever he says.

 

As a medic he’s always known this, whatever he does or says can affect other people’s lives, he doesn’t have the time to think about how he feels because letting his mind wander towards unnecessary things can be disastrous for his work, he isn’t allowed to  _ feel  _ as it is, emotions be damned if he can get through another day without getting attached to his patients. Things as deception, loss,  _ mourn _ aren’t things he’s allowed to feel, not when they might lead him to a distracted mind, towards all those patients he’s lost over the years, be it because there wasn’t a cure, because it was for the best or because he made a mistake, he can’t let that guide him. Happiness isn’t something he is familiarized with, he forbid himself to feel it long ago, he can be happy and satisfied with one treatment just to be replaced days, hours,  _ even minutes _ later with bad news. 

 

So, when this person tries to know how he feels, how he actually is dealing with things, all that’s been inside Yoonoh for as long as he remembers slides over the phone, filled with sadness, resentment and so much deception he tells Taeyong as much as he can about himself, his dreams, the things he’s always wanted to do, he tells him about Johnny, about how he can’t just leave him, not when he owes him that much, how he’s starting to feel again, how happy he was during the time he spend in the Lee household, how he gets anxious whenever Johnny is close. How he kissed him, how he let him kiss him like that when they’re not that intimate. 

 

His heart aches with every word he tells Taeyong on the other line, hoping the latter doesn’t hang up on him mid-call, however, at the same time he feels more relaxed, all his piled up frustration going away slowly. 

 

“Yoonoh” relief washes over him as he hears the other call him once he’s finished.

 

“I’m sorry” he’s ready to hang up, he isn’t ready to deal with a disappointed Taeyong, because what else can Taeyong feel for him, aside from pity?

 

“What are you sorry for?” the alpha asks calmly.

 

“I don’t know” he answers sincerely, he’s sorry for a lot of things he doesn’t even know where to start. 

 

“You shouldn’t be sorry” and Yoonoh is ready to scream ‘Didn’t you hear what I just told you?’ in frustration “don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you, I just, ughhhh, don’t know how to say this in english without sounding weird”

 

“I won’t get mad” he reassures the older. 

 

“I’d prefer for us to speak in person. But I hope this will be enough for now” Yoonoh’s anxiety grows exponentially as he hears the alpha sigh “I trust you, and whatever you think you've done, it isn't wrong”

 

Yoonoh cries, hard. 

 

* * *

He wakes up with a light heart, his head hurting and eyes swollen, but that doesn’t matter. He’s still clutching his phone right in the middle of his chest with one of his hands, his fingers hurt a little because of the effort he put them through all night, but nothing some stretching can’t mend. 

 

He smiles, Taeyong agreed to meet him later that day, so they can talk without language barriers face to face. 

 

His face warms at the thought of explaining to Taeyong why he did the things he did last night. 

 

_ Ugh. _

 

He sits on the bed so he can stretch his arms, even after everything he went through last night, even after all the negativeness he felt, he feels happy. 

 

_ The power of Taeyong Lee, I guess.  _

 

He smiles before getting up the bed before organize it. It's early, almost 9am, if he hurries he can still catch Doyoung and have breakfast with him, maybe the other will help him prepare for later. 

 

He hurries to the bathroom to take a quick shower, it is when the water starts hiring his skin that he's finally able to smell himself, he grimaces. 

 

All his body smells like alpha, that musky smell that screams what they almost did. Yoonoh curses, if he wasn't taking suppressants he might be able to smell himself, but it's counterproductive as he doesn't want to smell Youngho as they do dirty things. 

 

He scrubs the skin on his neck harshly, getting rid of every odor the other left of him the night before, he isn't going to meet with Taeyong smelling like horny alpha, let alone Doyoung, when his first instinct will be to reprimand him for being so careless.

 

Once his skin is all red he finally thinks is the perfect time to go out, the smell no longer lingering on his skin he comes out, wrapping a towel around his waist and taking a smaller one for his hair he excites the bathroom like that going straight to his bedroom, where he selects clothes for the day.

 

He’s not really sure what to wear though, he’s going to meet with Taeyong later, but does he need to prepare himself this early? 

 

He shakes his head, opting for something simple like jeans, some sneakers and a white plain shirt. He’s unknotting his hair when he hears someone knocking on the door. 

 

His heart beats harder as he approaches, it vaguely smells like alpha, it’s stupid to make assumptions, but he can’t refrain himself from thinking that Taeyong came to see him. 

 

He opens the door with a smile on his face, ready to greet  _ is alpha _ as warmly as he can. His jaw clenched as he sees who’s on the other side, Johnny reciprocates his -slowly fading- smile while holding what Yoonoh thinks is breakfast. Why can’t he stop thinking unnecessary things? 

 

“Hey” 

 

“Good morning, babe. I brought breakfast” he smiles warmly, he knows he did something he shouldn't have done yesterday and he’s ready to mend his mistakes and move on, try to woo Jaehyun again and, if everything goes as he planned it, maybe kiss him again, not as passionately as last time, though. 

 

The other doesn’t say anything, instead he moves, allowing Youngho to enter his home again. 

 

“I brought your favorite waffles”

 

“The ones with bits of chocolate?”

 

“And a sip of vanilla”

 

“Thank you”

 

Youngho prepares the table while Jaehyun sits himself, trying to think about what can he say, what would he do? More importantly, what would Johnny do? 

 

They finish their breakfast quietly, with Youngho occasionally making small talk and Jaehyun answering as politely as he can. It’s only when Yoonoh is about to eat the last piece of his waffle that Johnny takes one of his hands above the table. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jae, I don’t know what I did wrong yesterday but I’m willing to fix it if you let me” his eyes never leaving Yoonoh’s, he tightens his hold on his hand caressing it lightly to soothe whatever Yoonoh must be feeling right now.

 

“I” he’s shaking but the sole thought of  _ now or never _ makes him feel brave enough to talk “I don’t think we’re ready to do what we did last night” Johnny stares at him dumbfully, not quite understanding what Jaehyun’s talking about. The omega brokes the contact between their hands before continue his explanation “I mean, we’re going way too fast, and what we did last night wasn’t something that should have happened in the first place, I’m sorry for letting you believe that it was okay to do that, but I really don’t feel comfortable right now” 

 

“So, it was a mistake?” the seriousness in Johnny’s facial features makes him shake, but he is not going to budge right now, if he breaks and lets Johnny do whatever he wants right now the alpha will take it as permission to do some more ‘drastic’ things, things that Yoonoh doesn’t want, so he nods “Oh” if it wasn’t because of his suppressants, Yoonoh could easily smell the anger that comes out the alpha, he’ll probably bare his neck to calm the other. But that’s not the case since he can’t smell it, so he waits, ready to run and hide if necessary “Is that all?” he asks.

 

“Yeah” 

 

“So you’re now telling me that we’re going to do whatever you want? I didn’t expect something so low of you, Jaehyun, I mean, you were the one who was asking for this, even if your scent isn’t what it should be, I could smell that you wanted that” and this is what the omega was fearing, the alpha misunderstanding everything and twisting his words so he can only feel guilt. 

 

“No, it’s not like that and you know”

 

“Then how is it? As far as I understand you’re the one deciding for the both of us, didn’t you consider what I could feel? What if I want to do more things?” 

 

_ Then I’ll tell you to leave. _

 

“Then what do you want us to do, we can talk this out, Johnny, don’t make it seem like I’m the one at fault here”

 

“And now you’re saying that you’re innocent?  _ Hell _ , Yoonoh” the way he spits his name makes him want to look as small as he can “ _ you _ were the one who started this, and, as an omega you should be fulfilling your du-” he closes his mouth as fast as he can, fuck, this is turning more and more dramatic as time passes. 

 

“Fulfilling my  _ what, Youngho?”  _ he stares at him long and defiantly, waiting patiently for the alpha’s answer. Yoonoh bites the inside of one his cheeks, trying to distract himself so he can’t cry in front of  _ this  _ alpha.

 

“Your duties,  _ Yoonoh, _ as an omega I thought you would understand what a relationship between your class and mine would be. I guess you don’t” but anger clouds his mind and he isn’t capable of think about what he’s saying, what his words could possibly do to the fragile omega in front of him.

 

“Leave, Youngho” and the other does, smashing the door behind him. Leaving an emotional Yoonoh behind. 

 

This isn’t what he wants, he’s so sure of it, but he’s also sure that he’s going to forgive Youngho or even ask for his forgiveness once they’re both “ready”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uhm, guess I'm back? Well, kind of, I'm currently on summer break so I'll try to update as regularly (?) as I can. I even made a draft so I can guide myself through how every chapter goes, so, yeah. I hope you enjoy this. I'll try to update Keepers of the Sun next, I have half of the next chapter already done, so please anticipate it.


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And oh, ohhh, so that's what Taeyong's scent smells like.

It’s too early to start crying, he keeps reminding himself, it’s too early to call Doyoung, he might be still asleep, it’s too early to think about and just say _fuck it_ and start again, call Taeyong instead and go to his and Mark’s house, tell him how he feels, it’s early too, to think about how the other won’t question him, how he will embrace him and assure him that everything will be fine, that he doesn’t owe Johnny anything, that he’s his own person and shouldn’t be fulfilling anything. That’s exactly what he shouldn’t be doing.

 

However, that’s exactly what he does.

 

His fingers press way too hard the buttons on his phone, so the first try he ends up calling some random food company that he didn’t even know. The second try he ends calling Irene, he hangs up as fast as he can so the call can’t be registered, he prays for that too, he’s not in the mood to be explaining anything to his fellow doctor.

 

The third try has him crying in frustration and finally, _finally_ , dialing the correct number. His hand grips the phone way too tight that even his knuckles hurt. _Please, answer, please answer_ , it’s what he keeps chanting.

 

 _“Whossss dis?”_ Doyoung answers on the 5th ring, Yoonoh’s anxiety has died as he hears the yawns, he can picture Doyoung rubbing his eyes to will the sleep away, trying to focus on whoever is calling him, because Doyoung may not like being woken this early after a long night shift on his office, but he’s polite enough to answer and tell them to fuck off, Yoonoh prays that he doesn’t hang.

 

“Sorry” he apologizes, voice cracking slightly as he continues “it’s me, Dons” he wipes his eyes furiously as he can’t barely speak “I, _ugh_ , Johnny and I did something” he doesn’t explain further, he doesn’t have the energy to explain he just hopes that his voice is high enough for Doyoung to catch on what he just said.

 

“I’ll be there in fifteen” he hangs up before Yoonoh can convince him to not do that, that he wants to keep listening to him until he arrives, that he doesn’t want to be alone.

 

He stares at his phone long, waiting for it to ring, his hands shake slightly before he crumbles on the door, his back hitting the door behind him, he throws the damn thing as far as he can, not caring if it breaks or get scratched, he’s frustrated, sad and anxious. Why does he have to deal with this when Johnny is probably laughing it off with his coworkers? Why is it always him that is the bad one? Why is he just realizing this things? His hands cover his face as his eyes start to hurt from the effort of crying that much, he also needs some painkillers if he wants to calm the pounding of his head before Doyoung arrives.

 

With slow steps he manages to get inside the kitchen and fill a glass of water, his face feels hot and he knows that his nose is red as well as his eyes, which isn’t good, just another reason for Doyoung to nag at him.

 

He also looks for a pill to calm and prevent the sickness he might feel while talking to Doyoung, it’s actually contraindicated as he’s still on suppressants and it might react weirdly with those, but fuck it, he will deal with that later, that’s what he thinks as he drinks the water and swallows the pill. He goes then to wash the glass, he’s drying said glass when someone knocks on the door.

 

His eyes start to hurt as he approaches the door but he successfully calm himself before opening the door, just to be enveloped in Doyoung’s arms and _sob_.

 

_At least I tried._

 

“What happened?” Doyoung asks after a few minutes, long enough for Jaehyun to get a grip of himself and start talking. They made it to Jaehyun’s coach, with Doyoung in front of him and the coffee table between them.

 

“I fucked up, as always” he answers as he blows his nose.

 

“That’s not it, I know you wouldn't do certain things on your right mind” the older omega rolls his eyes “so, I'm listening” Yoonoh sighs, he doesn’t want to talk about this, he isn’t emotionally ready, but he needs to.

 

“Johnny and I made out last night” he can clearly see Doyoung tensing.

 

“But, but you don’t smell anything like him, I mean, I’m glad you don’t but if you really made out with him you should be reeking of alpha right now, _hell_ your house doesn’t reek of alpha either”

 

“That’s because I made sure of it, I cleaned everything, I even _cleaned_ myself” in fact, he’s actually surprised that Youngho didn’t reproach him that.

 

“But why? I was so sure you wouldn’t allow that, not until a couple of years, when it’ll be impossible for you to stop denying him that. So, why, Jaehyun? Why would you allow him something as intimate as that?”

 

“I wasn’t thinking clearly”

 

“That’s an understatement, and pretty obvious, but doesn’t answer my question” he blushes, Doyoung really wants him to speak about _that_ , might as well explain him everything.

 

“I wasn’t on my right mind” he can clearly hear Doyoung thinking ‘obviously’, he reddens even more, his neck suddenly hot “I mean, ugh, why are you making me doing this?” he shakes his head at Doyoung’s sly smile “okay, I wasn’t thinking of Johnny. I was trying to distract myself as he started comforting me, you see, we were watching this movie where the omega had a partner, but later he meets their destined mate, but they can’t be together because of said partner, but this partner realizes that the omega is suffering and lets them go to his true love. The thing is, Johnny told me that it was too cliché, that it was obvious because you can’t mess with destiny and all that propaganda. The point is” he sighs, taking enough air to continue “I thought about Taeyong” the sole mention of his name makes him feel fuzzy and warm inside, _ughhhh, not the time Jung_ “and that, if Johnny ever realized this, he wouldn’t let me go as easy as that. I was vulnerable, you know, and I kept on thinking things like, _If Taeyong was here, will he cry with me? Will he hug me?_ next thing I knew I was actually feeling lips and hands all over me while still thinking about him, I thought it was him I was kissing!” he exhales, frustrated “and then he whispered something dirty in my ear, I pushed him, but he got mad and started recriminating me things I should be made for” and he feels his eyes get blurry and his nose runny.

 

Doyoung approaches him cautiously, fearing that Yoonoh might  become erratic because of the remembrance of last night’s events, he can’t refrain himself from feeling a bit guilty, it’s stupid, he didn’t know, but as a friend, he didn’t check up on him when he felt that something was off. There wasn’t their daily good night text, and his daily _‘Good luck on your work today, Dons :D’_. Once he’s finally in front of the younger omega he hugs him, letting his pheromones soothe him, Yoonoh might not catch on them, but Doyoung tries anyway.

 

“It wasn’t your fault, Jaehyun” his hands grip his shoulders tightly “it’s not your fault that there’s stupid alphas that can’t control themselves and take their partners for granted” he pinches one of his hands hard, he’s so angry, but he isn’t going to let that anger go out on Jaehyun, who’s stressed enough and doesn’t need to deal with all this alpha idiocracy “He’s got to have a piece of my mind when I see him again” he spits the words.

 

“No, Doyoung, you don’t have to do that, I’ll solve this” that’s not something Doyoung wants to hear, he might love Jaehyun as much as he can love a younger brother, might even consider him as his adoptive pup, but Jaehyun, _ugh_ , Jaehyun is way too soft and way too _stupid_ to be dealing with things as mature as that. But this isn’t his life and he can’t interfere with whatever is going to happen, who knows, maybe this is something that needed to happen for him to meet his alpha.

 

“Fine, but please, call me, even text me if you don’t know what to do. The hour doesn’t matter, you know that”

 

“I do”

 

“Fine” he brokes the hug before smiling wide “now, I think you owe me breakfast and a nice coffee”

 

“You’re so expensive!”

 

“Yeah, yeah, now come, I don’t have all day” he’s going straight to the door, ready to have breakfast and tell Jaehyun about the weird beta that just got transferred and who thinks his only job is to drive Doyoung insane. However, he stops as he doesn’t hear Jaehyun walking behind him, so he looks for him, just to find him kneeling on the floor picking up his phone, what catches his attention the most is the red and soft pink that bloom on different parts of his face while his eyes scan whatever it’s on his phone. _Weird,_ he thinks as he decides is best to approach him and see what’s wrong.

 

_[From: L.T., 10:15]_

 

**_What time should I pick you up?_ **

 

_[To: L.T., 10:16]_

 

**_Weren’t we going to meet on the mall?_ **

 

_[From: L. T., 10:16]_

 

**_We aren’t going to the mall._ **

**_Minhyung told me about this place._ **

**_We can be alone there, so no one can see your pretty face._ **

**_Except me, obviously._ **

 

_[To: L.T., 16:17]_

 

**_Okay._ **

**_Around two would be okay, we can have lunch._ **

 

_[From: L.T., 10:17]_

 

**_Perfect!_ **

**_XX._ **

 

“Are you really blushing just from that? ugh, Jaehyun, I thought you were more I don’t know, I didn’t expect you to be this easy”

 

“Oh, shut up, weren’t we going to have breakfast?”

 

“And coffee, my dear easy Jung”

 

“Ugh”

 

“Now come on, that coffee isn’t buying itself and I’m lacking caffeine”

 

“Coming, coming”

 

“By the way, isn’t that a crack of your phone?”

 

“Uhm?” he inspections his phone, he was so distracted by Taeyong’s texts that he didn’t realize that, in fact, his phone cracked a bit on one of the corners “it’s nothing” he says as he puts the device on one of the pockets of his jeans.

 

“So, you and Minhyung’s cousin are meeting today, hmm” the older starts, amused at every reaction he gets from the flustered omega, who starts stuttering and blushing again.

 

“We’re just having lunch, he wanted to tell me something last night” that somehow makes Doyoung happy.

 

“So, you called him?” that would explain why he wasn’t as anxious and paranoid as Doyoung thought he would be.

 

“Yeah”

 

“I’m glad someone was with you in that moment” it’s everything he says, before resuming their walk.

 

“I do too” he whispers.

 

* * *

 

Having breakfast with Doyoung probes again that it’s actually hard to keep with his antics and the way he deals with things, he wouldn’t have done something as drastic as drop a cup of coffee on a coworker that he doesn’t like. Although, he’s not quite sure about Doyoung disliking this coworker of his, he’s seen Doyoung not liking someone and doing more horrible and drastic things than that and this can be qualified as Doyoung’s way of trying to attract his coworker’s attention.

 

It’s  12:27 and he’s physically and emotionally drained to do anything else. His body falls on the bed with a low _‘poof’_ he’s on vacation, so it’ll be okay if he stays on bed for the rest of the day. A look at his phone and he knows that he can’t sleep in, not if he wants to meet with Taeyong at least. He opts to set an alarm, he’s going to take a small nap and wake on time to change his clothes and pretty himself up just enough to make Taeyong stutter. _Stupid Yoonoh, you shouldn’t be thinking these things_ , he reprimands himself. 13:25 would be enough.

 

_[To: L.T., 12:29]_

 

**_This is the address, I have a spare key on one of the pots outside._ **

 

_[From: L.T., 12:30]_

 

**_I’ll wait for you to open the door._ **

**_I don’t want to trespass like that._ **

 

His heart stutters a bit at how thoughtful the alpha is, how he’s making sure not to intrude on Jaehyun’s household like that. But _fuck_ , not even Johnny knows about that key, so he’s totally okay with Taeyong ‘trespassing’ like that, he wouldn’t mind Taeyong’s scent all over his house.

 

_[To: L.T., 12:31]_

**_It’s okay, you have my permission._ **

 

He’s never thought he’d say something like that

 

_[From: L.T., 12:31]_

 

**_Oh?_ **

**_I’m flattered ;)_ **

**_See you later, xx._ **

 

_[To: L.T., 13:32]_

 

**_Hahah, see you :)._ **

 

And he closes his eyes, drifting to the realm of comforness and relaxation, his phone secure on one of his hands.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Yoonoh, wake up” the low and smooth voice makes him feel even more at ease, even more sleepy while the grip on his shoulder makes him feel safe, as if he’s being enveloped by every thing that’s nice and good in this world. He moans a bit, the pressure is nice, almost like a massage and it feels even more heavenly as that hand travels alongside his arm, rising goosebumps and making him giddy “Yoonoh, it’s getting late, we have to go now if we want to have lunch”

 

“Hmmm” his voice gets muffled by the pillow underneath, he doesn’t want to wake up, he’s too drained to do anything, but the sound of lunch makes his stomach grumble in need so he stirs a bit, trying to will the sleep away as best as he can. Then it downs all on him, he isn’t alone, there’s someone sitting beside him, caressing his neck softly yet hard enough to be pleasant. The faint smell of alpha it’s what fully wakes him up. He slaps the hand on his neck as fast and hard as he can, anxiety swallowing him whole making his stomach fill with dread, someone has entered his house, how could he be so careless?

 

“Hey, Yoonoh” there’s a hand on his shoulder, heavy and warm trying to get him to calm down a little “it’s me” the voice whispers in the crook of his neck, the contact is suddenly gone, letting Yoonoh adjust and register what’s actually happening. He invited Taeyong, _of course it would be him._

 

There’s a smile on Taeyong’s waiting figure as he turns towards him, completely back on his senses, anxiety gone and calm surrounding him just because of the foreign alpha’s presence. “I’m sorry” he blurts out shyly. The smile on the alpha’s face dies fast, being replaced by a frown making Yoonoh feel anxiety come back slowly, he feels it in his skin, goosegumps rising as time pases by, the hairs on the back of his neck standing in fear, and his omega, that intimate part of him screaming, pleading to _please, fix this, he’s mad, mad at you, our alpha._ So he apologizes again, only for the frown to deeper even more, eyes harsh and fist clenching. _Well done, Yoonoh, you always fuck up_ , and he feels like crying, because this wasn’t supposed to happen, they were supposed to eat peacefully, Yoonoh was going to be able to spend time with his alpha, imagine how it’ll be if he wasn’t being courted already, how real it’ll feel, how he could _forget_ about Johnny, even for a moment.

 

But here they are, Taeyong suddenly mad at him, because that’s the only thing he’s good for, being a disappointment, he couldn’t say no to Johnny, he couldn’t stay in Korea, in his _home_ because he didn’t dare turn down such an offer in a hospital here, not when his parents were so proud of him, not when he knew he couldn’t say no to them.

 

“I hate that” he’s ready to lock himself in the bathroom, maybe call Doyoung and cry over the phone with him listening while trying to concentrate on his work, distracting him and being a burden as always, but no, _this is your alpha Yoonoh, you at least can try not to be a disappointment to him_ , so he stays, intent on listening to whatever the alpha has to say to him, whatever he wants to complain about him. As the alpha sighs, he digs his nails on the soft skin on his palms harder “I guess lunch can wait, this is more important” he then moves his hands, startling Yoonoh at the sudden motion, Taeyong’s face darkens at that “I’m not going to hurt you” he whispers, this time moving his hand slowly towards the other cheek “I’m not mad either, it’s just” he lets out a frustrated noise, the omega shakes slightly “I hate that you apologize for everything, _Yoonoh,_ you don’t need to do that. It’s okay to be sorry for things but not to the point where you think everything it’s your fault and I want you to hear this, I’m actually really sorry for trespassing like that, I didn’t intend to, but you weren’t answering my calls and didn’t open the door, I was so worried I actually thought about kicking the door open, but then I remembered your message and entered. I’m actually glad that you’re okay, so, no need to be sorry. I, I think I understand you? But I also think that I already mentioned this to you, but then again, I won’t judge you, ever” the hand on Yoonoh’s cheek is suddenly gone as Taeyong gets up from the bed, stretching a little and arranging his pink fringe so it won’t limit his vision, he then smiles towards Yoonoh, eyes crinkling happily “let’s go, I’m actually starving” he announces.

 

But Yoonoh, Yoonoh can’t let this end like this, if he doesn’t say anything right now he’s sure both of them are going to forget about this or not talk about whatever this is, at this point Yoonoh doesn’t even know anymore. So he stands, legs slightly trembling as he hugs Taeyong from behind, he’s slightly taller than the alpha so he uses that on his favor as he leans his head on his shoulder, he can already feel tears pilling up on the corner of his eyes, but he wills them away, he needs to say something before finally crying.

 

“Don’t go” he whispers, his voice barely audible but as the alpha tenses he feels himself breaking a little “not yet, I-” he clears his throat “I want to tell you” _tell you everything so you can understand._  

 

The alpha takes both of Yoonoh’s hands, slowly detaching them from his frame, the omega grows desperate at the small dejection, it shouldn’t hurt that bad, but it _hurts._ And yet, he understands, Yoonoh’s being courted and he respects that, he isn’t going to meddle in that and Yoonoh’s heart breaks again at how gentle and thoughtful his alpha is.

 

“Okay”

 

* * *

 

Taeyong proves to be patient as he hears whatever the omega has to say, he’s really hungry, but yet again, Yoonoh’s more important than eating whatever-not-enough-to-satiate-his-palate food, american food is just that tasteless… he gives him time, reassuring him that it’s okay from time to time, not touching him again, he touched him intimately moments ago and he wasn’t meant to be doing that, not when there’s an alpha already courting, _but he’s ours_ his alpha groans, yeah, Yoonoh is destined to them, not theirs, but they just met and being destined isn’t a synonym of being together forever. _We’re going to be together, just, not yet_ and his alpha understands, the primal urges to fight whoever did this to his omega, whoever dared touch him vanish as the alpha inside of him accepts all.

 

He focuses on Yoonoh instead, he watches how his whole frame trembles as he starts and wishes he could embrace him, but no, the best is to let him let everything out, so he waits, he gives him time enough to calm in between every phrase.

 

Yoonoh talks and talks, and continues talking about everything and nothing, whatever he considers is enough for the alpha to _please not leave him,_ please _don’t hate me._ So he talks, about his parents, about how he wanted to stay in Korea, about his little cousin Jaemin who he hasn’t seen in a while, about his parents and how _delighted_ they were that he was leaving Korea just as he came back from studying overseas, whatever to get rid of him, he talks about Doyoung, how he’s so important from him, but most importantly he talks about Johnny, about everything he’s done for him and how he owes him lots.

 

“No” Taeyong cuts him off “you don’t owe anyone anything, you’re your own person, Yoonoh. And even if he helped you lots, Doyoung was there too, this Yuta guy too, and maybe they were friends with him first, but they’re your friends just as much and you don’t feel like you owe them your life, do you? So please, don’t think of yourself as something meant-” he mumbles something in korean, trying to remember some words “to be offered to the ones who have been nice to you, you deserve that and more, after everything you’ve been through” he finishes.

 

Unexpectedly, and without restraining himself anymore, he hugs the omega, inhaling the imperceptible scent that lingers on the skin, it’s so faint, and his alpha howls for the loss, but they understand, _not yet, we’ll scent him, just not yet._ The omega cries, this time, Yoonoh thinks, it’s the last time he’s going to cry for something like this, he sobs lightly as he clutches the alpha’s shirt.

 

“Weren’t you starving?” he asks. The alpha punches his shoulder lightly, a hearty laugh leaving his lips as they break the contact.

 

“Yeah, but I’m not really fond of the food here”

 

“You haven’t tasted _good_ food, you mean”

 

“Minhyung’s been dragging me everywhere and I’m tired of eating fast food and the likes, I can’t digest anymore fat. I'm actually glad we're not going to the place he recommended” he makes a weird face, remembering the uneatable amount of salt and fat all those foods have in common, he misses vegetables, for fucks sake.

 

“I think we can eat something light, then”

 

Yoonoh grabs his keys and cellphone, leaving with an overexcited Taeyong.

 

They don’t talk about Yoonoh’s doings last night.

 

* * *

 

 

They end up eating on a seafood kind of restaurant, it’s heavily influenced by latin culture and it’s all vibrant and pretty that leaves Taeyong in awe. The tables and everything is rustic, made of wood and decorated with some kind of colorful rugs, all in all it’s really pretty. Yoonoh tells him that he used to eat here from time to time with some of his colleagues, Irene and her mate, Seulgi, most of the time. The food is nice, and the ambien is calm not like the insane rush that surrounds every fast food restaurant.

 

They order something with shrimps and salads, the food is nice and the lack of fat in it leaves Taeyong very satisfied. They talk, about how Yoonoh is on vacations for a month, about how Minhyung keeps clinging onto his best friend as his time to leave approaches.

 

“Weren’t you going to stay more?” fear cripples up his arm at the thought of the alpha leaving this fast, they’re still getting to know each other, _it’s too soon_ , his omega cries in pain.

 

“Oh, Donghyuck needs to leave in two days, if I remember correctly, he had a week leave but he still needs to present some final work or something like that, so yeah, he’s leaving sooner than expected, I just don’t get Minhyung, he isn’t that clingy and he’s visiting on summer so, yeah, it’s weird”

 

“Could it be that he likes Donghyuck?” Taeyong stares at him in disbelief before crackling in laughter, it’s so loud but at the same time Yoonoh likes it, he wishes he could laugh as unrestricted as the alpha, _soon_ , he thinks.

 

“Noo! Of course no, it would be like, incest? I think that’s the word, ughhh, yeah, no, they’re like brothers it would be really weird, Donghyuck is like the little brother he never had, so yeah, he cares about him but not like _that_ ”

 

“Oh”

 

“Yeah”

 

Once they finish Taeyong insist on paying for the both of them, with Yoonoh complaining that it was his fault that they ate so late, so the least he can do is pay, Taeyong shushes him as he offers his card.

 

It’s 16:36 and they already did what they had to but Yoonoh wants to spend some more time with him, he _needs_ to spend more time with him, so he invites him to his house, to which Taeyong declines.

 

“I’m watching a movie with the kids today, I’m already late, maybe later, you can come tomorrow, Minhyung’s planning a party for Donghyuck’s leave, you can join us” he smiles, apologetic, and Yoonoh wants to go to the movies with them, plead for Taeyong to extend the invitation to him, but no, there’s things he needs to deal with, alone. _You’re seeing them tomorrow_ , he reminds himself.

 

“Then, see you tomorrow” he smiles softly, to which Taeyong’s smile grows wider.

 

“I’m getting you home, though”

 

* * *

 

 

Minhyung’s place isn’t that different from last time he visited, this time however, there’s a lot of luggage on the front door and a gloomy aura surrounding most of the place leaving him feeling down.

 

Mark greeted him on the door and is guiding him towards the backyard, where he supposes everyone is in, he can’t perceive one smell from the other, but he knows there’s at least six persons in there.

 

“We made hot-dogs, Taeyong-hyung is set on not eating, he wanted shrimps and lobster, I think, but Donghyuck insisted, and he’s always had a soft spot for his pouting” Mark explains “I hope you’re okay with that, though” he nods, they’re reaching the backyard and he can feel a change in the mood “so, yeah, make yourself at home, hyun- Jaehyun” he corrects himself.

 

There are some kids Jaehyun’s never seen, they look the same age as Mark and Donghyuck and there’s adults too, there’s Yuta, Sicheng and Kun, and in the corner is Donghyuck, talking animatedly with _Youngho_ , he averts his gaze so he searches who else is there, Taeyong is in the grill, he’s his best option, so he approaches.

 

“Hey” he greets, slightly nervous as he feels someone’s gaze heavy on him.

 

“Hey” the pink haired alpha smiles at him before returning to his labor.

 

“I thought you didn’t like fast food” he mocks.

 

“I don’t, but Hyuckie wanted to, so, here you have me” he can see how Taeyong tenses before he feels a hand on his shoulder, Taeyong smiles emitting a simple ‘hey’ before he returns completely to his labor.

 

“Hey, babe” Youngho whispers on his ear, one hand circling his waist as Yoonoh's blood boils.

 

“Hey” he whispers instead, smile wiped off his face. He looks at Taeyong who only smiles at them, continuing grilling sausages and bread but Yoonoh can see how white his knuckles are and how his jaw is clenching.

 

He guides Johnny towards the other corner, Donghyuck’s now talking animatedly with the other kids and Mark.

 

“How you've been?” the alpha asks and Yoonoh can feel his face grow hot from anger, _how does he expects him to be?_

 

“Fine” he mumbles. And the other is satisfied with his answer and the red on his cheeks, interpreting it as nervousness from his omega.

 

“That's good” he says “Minhyung told me you were coming, I thought of calling you and coming from you, but with how mad you were the other day I thought it would be better if I left you be for a bit” he nuzzles the crook on Yoonoh's neck, clicking his tongue as he realizes there's no smell at all “but now we're fine”

 

Yoonoh restrains from saying something, he'll think about this later, now he needs to sort his feelings for Youngho, Taeyong's words firm on the back of his head _“You're your own person”_ play in repeat.

 

However, as Youngho kisses him on one of his cheeks, he thinks that he can give him this, they're still a couple after all.

 

From the corner of his eyes he can see Taeyong slightly glaring.

 

“Jaehyun-hyung!” Donghyuck pats his shoulder “I didn't see you enter” he smiles.

 

“Hey” he smiles at the kid before slightly looking to the grill, searching for the pink haired alpha only to find Yuta in there.

 

“Johnny-hyung, you never finished that story" Donghyuck pushes him slightly, motioning towards the house “ohhh, Jaehyun-hyung, is it fine if you bring more soda? Yuta did something stupid with some cans, they're on the fridge. _Pleaseeee”_ he even makes puppy eyes, to which Youngho laughs, accompanying Hyuck's pleads.

 

He glares at his boyfriend before leaving.

 

There's no sign of life inside the house except for the noise in the kitchen, he hopes it's just Minhyung looking for more snacks.

 

The smell of anger kicks his nose, _hard_ , which will be weird if he didn't remember the after effects of using painkillers.

 

“Are you mad” he asks. It's obvious that the alpha is angry, at what, Yoonoh doesn't know, he promised himself not to make assumptions anymore, so he waits. As the alpha doesn't answer and keeps washing dishes he asks again, just for the other to look at him. And oh, _ohhh,_ so that's what Taeyong's scent smells like. _Don't drool, please don't drool_ , he tells himself, the scent is too much for him, it makes his head spin and his legs wobble, there's anger in there, but there's Taeyong too, and nothing will ever compare at how _delicious_ Taeyong's smell is, he smells of everything nice and fuzzy, even if he's anger. The thought of pleasing this alpha, distract him from his anger and just _be good_ for him, makes him a little wet, so he blushes.

 

The alphas pupils dilate at that, coming to the realization that he can smell the omega, not that faint scent from yesterday, but the omega himself. _This is bad_. A shaky hand pushes aways the bangs on the omega’s forehead, he's feverish.

 

“Are you okay, Yoonoh?” He asks worry replacing all the anger he felt, Yoonoh's omega's crying at the sudden touch, delighted. The acrid smell stops Yoonoh from leaning on that hand, he calms himself enough to answer a light 'yeah’ before the alpha offers him a cold can of soda, he puts it on his neck.

 

“I don't think you should be here” the alpha points out.

 

“Donghyuck asked me to bring more soda" he says, groaning at the coolness on his scent glands, that's never happened before, it's not the first time he mixes drugs and deals with after effects. Not even with Youngho has he smelled him, his glands are even swollen, what the fuck.

 

“No, I meant here, it's dangerous”

 

“Why?” he asks, already thinking about what the other means.

 

“I don't want _him_ to scent you” he breathes out, already regretting his words, _For fucks sake, Taeyong Lee, couldn't you get a hold of yourself._

 

“Oh” the omega blushes, his omega purrs delighted.

 

“I didn't mean it like that, I just, don't want you to go through something like that night unless you want to, ughh, forget about it”

 

The omega then does something unexpected for the both of them.

 

He kisses Taeyong.


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate is really a weird thing.

He’s in his room, the only thing he can hear is the faint sound of Minhyung showering in the farthest bathroom of the house, not that far from his own bedroom though. He’s been like this for a couple of hours now, staring at the light blue ceiling,  one of his hands caressing his lips and neck, trying and trying again to remember the contact, to make it feel  _ real _ , somehow.  _ Stupid, you’re so stupid, and reckless. Didn’t we agree on not doing anything? _ That was the point, they weren’t going to do anything,  _ unless _ , the omega initiated it, that’s what he decided the other day, leaving all decisions about the future,  _ their _ future to his omega. 

 

And he did initiate, but Taeyong doesn’t consider it like that as he remembers the state the omega was in, he wasn’t thinking clearly, he was sober, but the sudden influx of  _ his  _ scent, which surrounds the house completely invading every fiber on the omega’s body isn’t exactly what he would call ‘sober’. Pupils blown wide, nose flaring, cheeks heated and mouth slightly parted as soft gasps exit it, is something to last him for a lifetime, his apha is more than satisfied with the result and even if they both agree that that’s a picture that they’ll like to see more often, maybe in other circumstances, both of them agree again that they want the omega fully on his senses once the  _ moment _ arrives. Not like this, this vulnerable when he still is being courted by other alpha.

 

The hairs on the back of his neck stand out as he remembers the other alpha, he doesn’t hate him, but he isn’t a worthy candidate to compete against,  _ hell _ , if Taeyong wanted since the first day he saw Yoonoh he’d took him away and broke out things with the other alpha, but that isn’t his decision, he reminds himself as he exhales through his nose, trying to calm himself. 

 

_ Bet ya he’s never kissed him, not voluntarily, at least.  _ Taeyong smirks, remembering for the nth time that night how that happened. 

 

* * *

_ The faint scent of distress envelopes Yoonoh’s figure as he stares at Taeyong who’s trying to backtrack on his reckless words, he shouldn’t have said that, fuck, what if he scares Yoonoh with that? What if he thinks of him as one of those possessive alphas that deem omegas as objects?, he doesn’t want that, never would he think of Yoonoh like that, his omega has been made to be worshipped by his hands, to be loved and consumed fully by his love, “only when he accepts us” his alpha reminds him. Of course, only then will they show him how much he means to them, how much they’d been waiting for this and how much they’re both going to enjoy, if not eternity, the rest of their days together.  _

 

_ Yoonoh stills in front of him, he’s daydreaming again in the worst timing possible as always. Great, you fucked up all the progress you did today, the alpha thinks. The omega, however doesn’t give him the opportunity to pull his hair desperately as he tries to explain what he meant, a soft “Oh” leaves the omegas lips and Taeyong has to look at him, his scent has changed, he isn’t freaking out as Taeyong thought he’ll be, the sudden wave of awe and endearment hits his nose hard, the blush on the omega’s face makes the small freckles in there pop out while Taeyong wants to coo at how pretty and cute he looks right now. The alpha exhales, calming himself. _

 

_ “I didn't mean it like that, I just, don't want you to go through something like that night unless you want to, ughh, forget about it” he says, ready to continue with whatever he can distract himself with, when the omega takes one of his wrists, preventing him from leaving.  _

 

_ The apology dies before it can go through his lips as the omega kisses him, Taeyong freezes as the omega moves his lips against Taeyong’s, slow yet firm, the pink haired man can see how the other closes his eyes, trusting himself to the alpha, Taeyong just wants to die.  _

 

_ They say, his sister, even his mother has said this, that the first time you let your scent mix with that of your mate, you’re never the same again, it’s something they couldn’t explain in that moment, they just flushed bright red as they told him he’d understand once he experimented it.  _

 

_ He kind of understands now, their scents aren’t mixing, per se, not like they suggested. But fuck, this is something else, the way Yoonoh’s lips feel against his, the sudden hands on his nape and wrist all leaving his body tingling plus the way Yoonoh smells, calm and yet trusting him completely, waiting for him to do something. The alpha loves how their scents mix softly wherever their skins are touching each other, is there but it’s so faint Taeyong wants to memorize that to get drunk on that sweet, sweet smell. _

 

_ Taeyong doesn’t dare close his eyes, afraid that this might end as soon as it started, he wants to memorize this, the little, almost non existent freckles covering most of Yoonoh’s face making him wonder if there’s more, maybe on his neck, his torso, maybe his back, how about between his thighs, he groans, not the time, Taeyong, he reminds himself as the omega tenses, not sure about continuing and he’s practically dying to do something, to touch him, to. But this might be the only chance he’d have to do this without people interrupting them, he knows and trusts Hyuck and Minhyung to keep the others busy, he knows they will.  _

 

_ It’s only when he decides that this is his chance to touch the other, that he realizes his whole body is shaking in anticipation, his hands a bit shaky envelop the omega’s waist pulling him towards his still shaky body, the omega whimpers clearly not expecting the sudden motion, he doesn’t open his eyes however, Taeyong takes his time caressing his sides as he finally, finally pushes his lips against the other’s, his hands caress everything they can, trying to make the other feel good, the shirt’s getting wrinkled as his hands grope everything they can on his upper body, not daring to go south, not ready to touch him below the waist, his lips don’t stop moving, caressing the plump ones hard, yet sweet enough for the omega to whine and whimper at the contact, Yoonoh’s hands finally setting on the back of Taeyong’s neck, pulling the little hairs there and on his nape, massaging it lightly.  _

 

_ Their lips move in tandem, following each other until Taeyong breaks the contact, it’s intense, so intense even if their lips are only touching, not really making out, but kissing, he needs more, needs to explore that wet warm cavity, touch and mark every place inside his mouth, taste his tongue, his saliva and bite his lips, make them red, so, so red and swollen, they’d be the prettiest lips on the prettiest omega.  _

 

_ The alpha groans again, resting his head on the crook between Yoonoh’s neck and shoulder, breathing heavily as his nose feels with the raw desire and  _ **_love_ ** _ coming from the glands on his left side, his hands tighten around Yoonoh’s body, this is too much for a day, too much to lasting a lifetime and yet he still feels thirsty.  _

 

_ “We shouldn’t be doing this” he grumbles on the omega’s neck, inhaling as much as he can that lovely scent.  _

 

_ “Your hands say otherwise” Tayong can feel the other’s smile through the movement of his muscles.  _

 

_ “Now you should really, really go” the alpha states “I’ll tell them work called for you or something like that, Hyuck will understand”  _

 

_ “Yeah” he breathes out “but I don’t want to leave, though”  _

 

_ “This is not up for discussion” the alpha groans again “I didn’t mean it like that, fuck, can you please do something?”  _

 

_ “Sure” he gets his phone from his back pocket, types something and puts it back on its place “now I’ll leave” he announced, the alpha lets out a shaky breath. He doesn’t want him to go too, but they need to part if they don’t want to be caught.  _

 

_ “I’ll walk you to the door” the omega nods, Taeyong finally lets the other go, his hands tight on his sides, not daring to move them as he knows they’ll seek to touch the omega again. The omega smiles, as the blush fades Taeyong pouts, missing how cute the other looked. The omega approaches him again, making him tense, he pecks him on the cheek. _

 

_ “Let’s go, Yong” the alpha ignores the fuzzy feeling the nickname causes on his whole being.  _

 

_ They walk in silence, it’s awkward but they’re both happy, the pull between them grows stronger, not wanting to leave the other’s side.  _

 

_ They bid each other goodbye before they can even reach the door, it’s necessary, and this is not a goodbye, more like a see you later, something not permanent, the alpha tries to remind himself as his hands tighten in little fists.  _

 

_ “I’ll text you once I get home” the omega says, _

 

_ “Okay” he grumpily lets out, the omega takes one of his hands caressing the white knuckles before doing something completely unexpected, again.  _

 

_ “I’m going now” he murmurs, before Taeyong can process what’s happening the omegas face is on the left side of his neck, placing a gentle kiss there, almost touching his jaw. The alpha stays there dumbfounded as the omega smiles shyly before finally leaving.  _

 

_ Once the door is finally closed, Taeyong lets his back slide against it as his knees can’t support him anymore, he doesn’t understand how the omega can still walk after what they did.  _

 

_ “What did you just do, hyung?!” the mixed korean and english tells him that his little Minhyung saw the exchange between them. _

 

_ “Minhyung” he whispers “I didn’t mean to do that” _

 

_ “What happened hyung?” Taeyong doesn’t realize he’s crying until Minhyung approaches, voice soft as he asks if he’s okay.  _

 

_ “I don’t know, Minhyungie, this is too much” he says, it’s really too much and it hurts, it hurts that his destined mate is being courted by another alpha, it hurts that they can’t kiss whenever they want, however they want, it hurts that he practically made Yoonoh cheat on his alpha, it hurts that he has to return to korea soon, it hurts that he can’t tell Yoonoh anything about that because that’s what he decided, he’s sacrificing everything he has so his precious omega can enjoy life as he should have long ago, it hurts that maybe, just maybe, once he leaves, the other alpha might claim Yoonoh, it hurts him not being able to be there for him when that happens, when the other alpha forces himself on his cute oblivious Yoonoh, that’s not love, whatever the other alpha feels for his mate, isn’t love, Taeyong has seen it multiple times to know how love looks like, love is how his mother’s look at each other, how his sister looks at his husband, love isn’t how Youngho looks at Yoonoh, taking him for granted when he hasn’t done anything significant on the other’s life, “You haven’t either” his alpha whispers, and it hurts so much because it’s true, he hasn’t, can’t do anything significant for his mate if he’s going to leave him so he can return to korea, his alpha howls, devastated, Taeyong can feel his body convulsing with so much sorrow it physically hurts him. _

 

_ “Hyuckie!” he hears Mark scream, he smells the kids and Youngho before he collapses.  _

 

* * *

 

He’s calmed now, his breathing has stabilized after the little nap he took, he remembers Minhyung telling Youngho that he had a panic attack, that it happens quite often as he’s on a foreign country.

 

His eyes hurt as much as his chest however, what hurts him the most is his heart.  _ Stop,  _ his alpha says,  _ you’re being too harsh on us _ . But he doesn’t really care, not when his omega is going to be alone with  _ that  _ alpha for who knows how long just because Taeyong can’t move to the states and live with his mate, not when his mothers are preparing him to inherit their industry. He knows he can tell them that he’s found his mate, that he wants to stay there with him, but it’s so unfair on them, they don’t have the time to train another person on said industry, he hasn’t told Minhyung why he came to the states so suddenly, Hyuck a mere distraction to what Taeyong has to tell him. His omega mother, Mark’s favorite aunt, isn’t as strong as they thought she was, they knew it since the beginning, of course they knew it, Taeyong being a miracle between the two womans as one of them didn’t have a heart as big as people thought, his alpha mother knew that it’ll end sooner than they expected, but recent things, like Minhyung suddenly leaving, Hyuck almost getting hit by a car did things to her poor heart that weren’t expected. Three years, maybe five if they were lucky enough, was wat the doctor said. It’s been a year already and Taeyong wants to grant them those years to his mothers away from whatever might stress them, his alpha mother has already planned everything and it’s too late for him to recant. 

 

He exhales, if Yoonoh and him are really fated, they’d come around each other when time, destiny, god or whatever deems it inevitable. Tears pool on his eyes again, why should all of this happen, why can’t his mothers be happy. He hasn’t tell them that he’s met his mate, he’ll wait until he’s back in korea again so they don’t get worried and undo everything they’ve been working on.

 

A soft knock on his door followed by a low “hyung?” makes him wipe his tears as fast as he can.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Can I come in? We are worried” the ouch Minhyung lets out tell him that Hyuck is there too. 

 

“Yes” they don’t need anything else to barge inside his room.

 

_ “What happened hyung? Minhyung doesn’t want to tell me”  _ he grimaces as the  fast korean words leave Hyuck breathless, should he tell them right now, not even Hyuck knows yet, but he, they should know after all Hyuck’s leaving tomorrow.

 

_ “There’s something I need to tell you both” _ Minhyung raises one of his eyebrows, weren’t they going to talk about his hyung kissing Jaehyun? “ _ I didn’t came here for vacations, I’m actually working on something _ ” he exhales, his eyes burn as he prepares himself to what’s next, the kids frown at that, not knowing what to expect “ _ My mother _ ” he wipes his left eye as he continues, Minhyung grimaces while Hyuck covers his mouth, tears pilling in both pair of eyes “ _ the doctor said she has only two years left, two more if we’re lucky. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I wanted you both to enjoy each other, I’m sorry I didn’t came here with you for vacations Hyuckie, I’m here to get some papers they asked me to. I’m taking over the industry in a month or two so they can spend my mother’s last years calmly”  _ he exhales, too tired to say anything else. Minhyung is the first to hug him, hot tears soaking his neck as the younger cries his heart out, gripping tightly onto Taeyong’s pajamas shirt. Hyuck sobs behind him for a minute or so before tackling Taeyong’s other side.  _ “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry” he sobs between both.  _

 

“Stop saying that, hyung, it isn’t your fault. We-we understand, we really do” Mark sobs again as Hyuck cries harder nodding “this just makes us more worried about you and Jaehyun, it’s so unfair for the both of you” 

 

“It’s okay” he whispers.

 

The kids cry harder, knowing that their hyung is willing to sacrifice his  _ fate _ over something he doesn’t hold any power. Fate is really something unfair. 

 

* * *

 

The kids fell asleep hours ago, he’s just worried that Hyuck wouldn’t want to leave tomorrow. He’s sad, but he’s strong and this is something that needs to be done. He’s in the living room, sitting on the couch thinking about how much has happened since he came here. 

 

His hands shake as  he pressed the numbers he's memorized since he was five years old, it might be noon ther on Korea so the timing shouldn't be an issue. He doesn't want to do this, this means that his time here is reduced to a week if time is on his side, so he waits. It's painful waiting for an answer but at the same time he's excited, it's been a while he hasn't talked to his mom, even though he's been talked to her everyday, three days without talking to them is torture, more when he doesn't know his mother's status. 

 

_ “Tae?”  _ His mother's sleepy voice answers. 

 

_ “Mom”  _ he can feel his throaty constrict at her voice, he wants to tell her everything, ask for help about the mate dilemma, but he knows it's inopportune “ _ I've got the papers _ " he says instead, voice low and calm, as if he's accepting his sentence. 

 

_ “Tae!”  _ She screeches loudly the low groans and the soft sorry tell him that her mom is taking a nap  _ “that's so awesome sweetie”  _ and she rants about what has happened while he's being away, he listens to her fondly, enjoying how much they are enjoying each other, how much they are still in love, she tells him about his sister too, about how she's pregnant and how they're so happy about it, his mother ends the rambling with a simple question “ _ Have you told the kids?”  _ Her voice fills with sorrow for what's about to come, Taeyong understands, they're so, so young to be dealing with this kind of things. 

 

_ “Yeah”  _ he answers. 

 

_ “How-how did they take it?”  _ They're devasted, they truly are, and Donghyuck kind of wants to go with them on their vacations, but he doesn't say that, instead he tells her.

 

_ “They're fine, Mark wants to come back with me, he wants to see mom”  _ her mother sobs slightly, breaking Taeyong’s heart once again. 

 

_ “That's nice, he can return with you”  _

 

_ “Yeah” _

 

They talk for a few minutes more, with Taeyong reassuring her that he doesn't need help, that aside from those papers everything is pretty easy. He hangs up, after that, he's got a few more hours of sleep so it's okay, they're all drained and he has to get Donghyuck to the airport really early. 

 

He goes to his room again, trying to ignore the raging feelings and the thinking of his head, this is how it has to be, he reminds himself. He closes his eyes.

 

* * *

 

His alarm increases the sound gradually, pushing him to open his eyes and stop the dam thing. He sees the hour, 5:25am,  _ fuck _ , there's no sound in the house that tells him that the kids are awake, he rubs his eyes willing the sleepiness away, he has to get Hyuckie to the airport.

 

With tired steps he reaches each of the kid's room, shaking them so they can get ready. After fifteen minutes they're all sitting on the kitchen, Minhyung is eating cereal, swollen eyes being covered by his fringe, Hyuck didn't want to eat anything, so Taeyong forced him to eat least drink some milk and eat some cookies. It's 5:45am, they have fifteen minutes to spend before leaving for the airport. 

 

“Are you ready, kids?” He asks them as he carries Hyuck’s luggage towards the car, Minhyung is the first to aid him. Hyuck nods, milk and cookies left untouched as he climbs up on the car, he gets his seatbelt on without any words, Minhyung climbs up afterwards. 

 

_ “Would you like to pick up something on the way, Hyuckie?”  _ Minhyung asks him softly, clearly worried about his state.

 

_ “Nope, I promise I’ll eat something on the plane, I’ll take a picture to prove it”  _ Minhyung looks at him skeptically, however, he nods wanting to trust his little friend. 

 

The ride doesn’t take that long, they’re thirty five minutes earlier for Donghyuck’s flight, Taeyong parks as near as he can from the entrance, the kids help him get the luggage out. 

 

_ “Do you want me to get you something, Hyuckie?”  _ Taeyong asks him, pushing him again to eat something before he’s out of his sight.

 

_ “A coffee would do”  _ he sighs, he’s really tired and hopes that the warmth of the coffee would make him feel slightly better. Minhyung nods before going to get his order or something as close as what Donghyuck asked for. They sit on a table nearby, they’re facing each other when Taeyong decides it’s better if he talks things out with Donghyuck before he boards, he wants to calm him as much as he can.

 

_ “Hyuckie-”  _

 

_ “Are you okay hyung? I mean, with all of this, not about my auntie”  _ the younger interrupts him, he takes one of Taeyong’s hands between his right hand, his head is down, so he doesn’t see the surprised yet hurt look on the older’s look  _ “I understand what’s going to happen with auntie, with your mom, with the industry, even with Mark’s mom, but”  _ his free hand rubs the wetness on his eyes as best as he can  _ “what about you, hyung? What about Jaehyun hyung? You both deserve one of those happy endings, I haven’t known him for as long as I’ve known you, but from the things Mark’s told me, he seems happier since you came here, and you! Hyung, this is what you’ve always been waiting for, what do the both of you must suffer? Haven’t you gone through so much already?”  _ Taeyong stares speechlessly as Donghyuck continues to ramble about life being to unfair, he wants to cry so bad, he’s sure he’d stop containing himself if Donghyuck, pure, sweet Donghyuck continues saying those kind of things, Taeyong has made his decision, it might not be the best, but he was ready to sacrifice everything since the beginning, he owes his mothers that much. 

 

_ “Hyuckie, it’s fine, it’s not the best but, my mom’s deserve this, it’s going to be just for some years, then I can look for Yoonoh, court him and bring him to Korea with me”  _ he stutters some words, trying to convince himself that that’s what is going to happen, putting all his faith on that little wish.

 

_ “What about Johnny? Jaehyun hyung hasn’t broken things with him”  _ he says, sadness filling his voice, he was so, so sure that they weren’t a thing since the first time he saw them, Jaehyun didn’t smell like him and Johnny didn’t have that glow that most alphas have when they’re courting someone, it disgusts him somehow, it is not right. 

 

_ “I”  _ he stutters, Donghyuck starts to panic.

 

_ “You really are sacrificing everything”  _ the younger omega sobs, his hyung is supposed to have a fairytale like love, not this, this  _ fuckery.  _

 

_ “Hyuckie, no, look”  _ he groans, trying to explain the things he’s clinging onto to not go mad about this situation  _ “I believe, I really, really do believe that fate will bring us back once again, if we met in this situation is because we need to do things on our own before we can be together, this, all of this is happening because of that reason, in the end we’ll be happy, I promise you that” _ the younger omega stares at him, trying to decipher if the other is lying or if he really believes his words.

 

_ “I trust you, hyung”  _ he says. Minhyung arrives shortly afterwards, three steaming cups of coffee on his hands and some snacks, they’re all tired, Taeyong knows and he appreciates his little cousin’s attentions.

 

_ “What were you talking about?”  _ Minhyung furrows his brows at Hyuck’s red eyes.

 

_ “Nothing, hyung was telling me that aunties are going to Greece next month and I’m not coming with them”  _ the omega states. Minhyung stares at him weirdly but he buys it, Donghyuck has always been a little weird after all. 

They talk and talk again while drinking coffee and eating,  by now Taeyong is more calm about Hyuck’s empty stomach, until a voice calls for Donghyuck’s plane, he bids goodbye to the olders, punching Minhyung and telling him to come soon to Korea, so they can hang out a bit more, after all, his mother misses his almost son. They smile, they cry and they finally hug, helping Hyuck carry his luggage until they can’t follow him. The omega boards his plane, shaking his hand one last time, bidding them farawell. 

 

* * *

 

_ “Hyung” _ Minhyung calls him as soon as they entered the car, they’re both sad, but they know they’ll reunite soon with him, he nods in his cousin’s direction, waiting for whatever the other has to say  _ “I’m going to invite Jaehyun-hyung over as much as I can, I want you to be as happy as you can before the inevitable”  _ he states, eyes fierce with determination. Taeyong stares at him surprised.

 

_ “What”  _ he asks, not clearly understanding what Minhyung is trying to do.

 

_ “I know you’re mates, I also know that Johnny-hyung is an extra in that equation, but I want you to be happy, as much as you could possible be before you have to deal with everything that awaits for you in Korea, I’ll also try to distract Johnny-hyung as much as I can, I know this is wrong and it’s kind of cheating, and that’s really, really wrong, but they aren’t mated and Jaehyun-hyung nor Johnny-hyung haven’t said that they’re boyfriends yet, so until that, they’re friends with benefits or something like that” _ he breathes before he continues, what a nice pair of lungs, the alpha thinks  _ “I’m going to do something really stupid right now, so you better take advantage of it”  _

 

_ “What are you saying, Minhyung?”  _

 

The younger then takes his phone out, makes a few movements and calls someone, He presses the speaker option so his hyung can listen to what he’s going to do. 

 

“Hey! John-bro! How are you?” 

 

“Yoooo! Moooork, I’m fine, what about you?”

 

“I’m fine as well, a bit sad since Hyuckie left”

 

“Oh my god! He left already? He’s the sweetest kid, I’m going to miss him”

 

“Yeah, me too. Soooo, John-bro, since I’m obviously mourning, wouldn’t you want to help me cope with this sadness?”

 

“You know I’ll do anything for my favorite bro”

 

“Bro~”

 

“What do you want to do little one?”

 

“Can we spend a day together? like old times, Taeyong-hyung is going to be busy all day so I really don’t want to be home alone, the wound is still fresh” 

 

“Of course, I hope your Taeyong-hyung doesn’t feel as bad as you. I actually hope he's better after what happened yesterday, tell him I said hi”

 

“He's better, about Hyuck's leave, It’s different for him, I think, adults are weird” at that Taeyong tries to hit Minhyung, the younger speaks faster, trying to explain with signs that it was a joke “Tomorrow is your day off, right? Do you have any plans?” 

 

“Of course no, I’ll clear and ignore everything for you, Markie”

 

Taeyong’s blood boils, how can he say that? He’s courting his mate, for fucks sake, he should be spending said day with him, trying to romance him and get to know him better, not spend the day with a friend, Yoonoh should be his priority, not Mark. The younger looks at him shaking his head,  _ It’s not the time, hyung, _ he mouths. 

 

“Alright, can you get me?”

 

“Will nine do, your majesty?”

 

“A brokfast, I’ll love it” 

 

“Broo~”

 

Mark bids him goodbye, saying that his hyung is calling him for lunch and he has to hurry if he wants to be fed, Johnny laughs a bit at that, older brother complex, he says. 

 

They never mention Yoonoh.

 

A soft click is everything Taeyong needs to finally start the engine of the car, and finally,  _ finally,  _ go home. 

 

_ “It’s up to you, hyung, I know you don’t have anything to do tomorrow, so please, go out with him, I’ll have Johnny drop me at 10pm, eleven if I’m lucky, I’ll text you, so, yeah, you just need to make a call”  _

 

Taeyong nods before focusing on the road, they don’t talk after that. Minhyung still trying to digest everything that’s happened in that short amount of time. They have lunch on one fast food restaurant.

 

_ “I can wait until we get home, you know”  _ Minhyung says as Taeyong makes faces as he takes the first bite of his burger. 

 

_ “No, you’re starving, I can’t let you die of inanition, this isn’t healthy but it’ll do until we’re home” _

 

_ “Hyung” _

 

_ “No ‘hyungs’ young man, we’re eating here, whether I like it or not, it’s almost 1pm and you haven’t eaten properly, no, coffee and that sugary cereal doesn’t count” _

 

_ “Okay” _

 

_ “Do you want to go home yet?”  _ he asks the younger, he doesn’t want o go home yet, the house must smell still of Hyuckie and they’re not ready to take in his sudden absence. 

 

_ “No, can we go to the movies or something, instead?” _

 

_ “Lee Minhyung, are you really make me eat junk food all day?” _

 

_ “It won’t hurt you, hyung, besides, there’s this new cartoon movie, I was going to watch it with Hyuck, but, after this turn of events you’re my only hope”  _ the younger dramatizes.

 

_ “What about Johnny?”  _

 

_ “Oh, don’t worry about him, I still have lots of movies to watch, he can bear all that greasy food like a champ, a true american” _

 

_ “Okay” _

 

* * *

The movie isn’t that bad, it’s funny, has that not so complicated plot that children usually like and it’s really colorful. He enjoys it and even makes a note to recommend it to his mother, she loves that kind of movies. 

 

Being in his room again, after spending most of the day outside, distracting himself, he finally makes a decision, he’s going to follow Minhyung’s plan, he really does want to be as happy as he can while he stays there, Johnny isn’t really a treat, he doesn’t worry about Yoonoh, he didn’t even realize the other was gone after Hyuck’s goodbye party, he didn’t even smell Yoonoh, which makes him dizzy with happiness and a bit of possessiveness, he’s the first that’s ever had the opportunity to enjoy his scent, he feels drool pooling on his mouth,  _ we aren’t going to do anything like that again _ , he reminds himself, he doesn’t want to get too attached to his mate, even though they are already attached, mixing their scents and being intimate with each other will only lead them to crave and miss the other badly as they’re away from each other. Taeyong knows he’s risking Yoonoh’s happiness already by just meeting with him, like he told Hyuck, things happen because they have to happen. 

 

_ Fate is really a weird thing _ , he thinks as he presses the call button on his phone. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm SOOOOOO proud of myself rn. I mean, for the first time in my life (?) I really like something that I wrote. I feel really pleased with how this turned out and I'm so hyped up that I already started writting the next chapter. Don't know when I'm posting it tho. But still~~~
> 
> Hope you really enjoyed this, and please, wait for the next chapter :3 
> 
> Thank you for reading this~ ♥


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